Holiday Traditions

This week's blog comes courtesy of My Michelle.

One of the big traditions in our house, like many of yours I am sure, is the setting up of the Christmas lights outdoors and on the house.  Our house is quite high, being a two story, so it has been very rare that we get up to the second floor or light the peaks.  I remember one year Richard and I thought we could do it - well we did, but let me tell you it was a lot like that Chevy Chase scene with a leaning ladder, a knot full of lights, and a few tempers might have flared as in the movie "Christmas Vacation"!  

This year the kids wanted to go all out and "deck the halls" so off we went to Canadian Tire and loaded up with a new colour scheme, new lights and the requisite extension cords.  Our son Josh was adamant he could get up the ladder to reach that second floor peak over the garage and the living room.  We had our hands full keeping Richard off the ladder.  There he was with his chemo "bottle buddy" infusing under his jacket, and right in there with the cords, lights and votes of confidence.  No way he was being left out of it!  I, of course was panicked that someone would fall, but gamely took my turn as one of the "spotters" on the ladder.  I have to say the guys did a fabulous job and the the lights were so beautiful under the snowy night sky this week.  There were no falls, just a sliver or two, so a good experience overall. Looking up at those peaks though, I'm thinking maybe those lights might end up staying up for a season or two!

I know that the kids will want me to start to get the other holiday decorations up this weekend.  It is always such a fun time to reminisce as we dig out all the old decorations, some we've had for years, some the kids made, some that were special gifts and many we have collected as we have travelled on various vacations around the world.  We  still have the original "Our First Christmas Together" ornament, as well as the ones that were given to us for "Baby's First Christmas".  So many memories of so many wonderful Christmases past.

Another tradition that our family is eagerly awaiting is the holiday baking.  Richard's appetite is hit and miss at times these days and I'm always looking to find "that thing" he loves and would enjoy.  He has put in his request for some of his favourites and I'll have to get going on all of this soon!  

I have to admit, I am not really in the Christmas spirit this year.  I am going through the motions:  I watch the movies, I help with the lights, I do the decorating, I plan for the baking.  This is a year unlike any other for so many of us.  Our traditions will be a little different, we may not be able to be under the same roof with all of our family and friends. We'll all just have to dig deep, no matter what our circumstances, and find a way to find the joy and enjoy the moments we have.

One thing I know for sure, is that this old house, sure will be looking good!

Wishing you joy,

Love Michelle

What's for Dinner?

I don't know about in your household, but at the Erdmann's, "What's for dinner?" is a daily question that we ask ourselves.  It seems to be a daily dilemma for our family. With five adults living under one roof, all with varying tastes, appetites, diets and opinions, it is a lingering question that takes some time to answer each day. Often we are left with 3 different opinions and find it difficult to come to some form of consensus. In this case we sometimes just give up and let everyone order their own take out to solve the problem. Our kids are "Uber Eats" specialists. I can't bring myself to use these food delivery services, I find them wasteful and too indulgent (although I must admit, we have asked our kids to order on our behalf a time or two!)

I wish someone would have told me that being an adult/parent meant that you are forever cursed with this daily dilemma. Deciding on and making dinner is a chore! Remembering to take some meat out of the freezer in the morning to give it time to defrost in time for dinner is a chore. Chopping up all the veggies for the meal is a chore. I can see why those meal preparation companies are doing so well. Sometimes you just don't feel like preparing or cooking a meal. 

Michelle and I are pretty easy going and would be happy with a bowl of soup, a sandwich or some cheese and crackers for dinner. Unfortunately our kids don't feel the same way. We are also happy to have leftovers for dinner which makes the decision easy for us, at least for one night. The problem, again is that our children don't like leftovers either. This really limits your options when you are trying to make everyone happy.

We've tried different strategies to share some of the "what's for dinner" angst with our kids - having each person responsible for a day of the week, having them help with menu planning, taking them to the grocery store to help stock the pantry to try and ward off the "there's nothing to eat in here".  While we love our snack foods as much as the next person, we really try to buy building blocks for meals, or ingredients, so it's true - there's not alot of prepared foods that you can just grab and zap!

The ''what's for dinner" dilemma is even more complicated now with my cancer diagnosis. Having esophageal cancer has limited my food options in varying degrees. In one of my earliest blog posts, Food, Glorious Food, I talked about how food impacts our lives in so many ways and how you should not take eating for granted. I am once again beginning to struggle with some of my favourite foods. No more steak, roast beef and even sometimes chicken (depending on how it is cooked) for me. I do miss a deliciously cooked steak. Sometimes I cut off a very small piece and savour the flavours.  I find that cutting up my meats into smaller pieces for chewing helps. Sometimes, my hiccups remind me to slow down. Often it is Sophie reminding me to take my time or to cut smaller pieces, as old habits die hard. I have always been a fast eater. I guess it comes from being an educator and school administrator, always eating on the run, living by the school bell. 

My family has encouraged me to start drinking protein supplement drinks again to ensure that I am getting enough protein and vitamins in my diet. I must say that they bring back very bad memories! I have been avoiding them. When I was on a liquid only diet in the early days of coping with the effects of my disease, these drinks were my main source of food, along with pureed foods and soups. I really hope I don't return to those days again. I still avoid most soups and don't really enjoy them the way I used to anymore. 

I don't think that we will ever solve the "What's for dinner" dilemma in our household. You may have a similar problem in your house. I am fortunate we have some good cooks in the family, so once we do decide, it's usually very good!  It's just coming up with the ideas that is getting kind of "old".  Tips and suggestions are always welcome. 

What are you having for dinner tonight?  

Please just don't say ...."Soup's on!". LOL

Richard

Finding Distractions!

Well I did something that my family told me I should not be doing! In fact they have been trying hard to change my mind about it. One year after I retired from my role as Principal, I have recently decided to rejoin my school board on a part time basis. I am now working remotely as a retired Principal on Contract, supporting the implementation of virtual schools in our school board. This is no easy task. The entire virtual school program is growing rapidly as many families have chosen to have their students stay home and take their classes online due to COVID-19. All education staff are working tirelessly to make this new online learning work. Virtual schools are definitely a work in progress, with all new structures, protocols, and procedures that need to be created. It is like building a plane while flying it! I am proud to support my colleagues in some small way to make it as successful as possible.

You may be asking, Richard are you going crazy? Why would you want to return to work in your current medical condition? Why give up your new carefree lifestyle and freedom? Why would you want all the potential added stress and responsibility again?  Well the answer is quite simple, it is a distraction!

As I have previously mentioned in several blogs, when you get diagnosed with cancer, your whole life is turned upside down. All of your thoughts and actions seem to be focused on the disease and how to manage it, control it and try to get rid of it! Your days become filled with appointments, treatments and coping with side effects. When you are not focused on your cancer care, you have a lot of time to think and reflect. What do you think that I am thinking about most during? You guessed it Cancer! It's hard not to. 

I do have other distractions to help me, including my new loyal buddy Lily, our new puppy. Many of these distractions are much more fun and exciting then working. However, they only last so long and become boring after awhile. As well, winter is coming and my selection of distractions decreases significantly. Being immunocompromised means I basically have to stay home due to the ongoing worry of COVID-19. I do miss my friends and the chance to go out to a restaurant, do some non-essential shopping and visiting others. Staying home gives me a lot of time think. No matter how hard I try, my thoughts always return to my cancer. I think about how it is impacting my family and what the future holds. I worry about the future. I guess this is understandable. I like things to be organized, planned out and somewhat predictable. This disease has blown all of that out of the water. No predictability anymore!

Working part time gives me a purpose, a responsibility, a way to distract myself. It also allows me to use my years of knowledge to support others at this difficult time in education. My kids say that my stress levels have increased and that I am more irritable since taking on this new job. This may be true although I think it is the medications. I take my job responsibilities seriously and want to do a good job. The fact of the matter is that I would be stressed out regardless. Besides this is a different kind of stress, one that gets the adrenaline going in a good way.

It is part time after all, and will only last for a few months. It will keep me occupied and distracted over the winter months. Best of all, it will take my mind off my medical circumstances, even for awhile. I think that makes it worth it!

In the meantime, I will continue to look for other, more exciting distractions. Until then, this should WORK.

Richard

Bottle Buddy is Back!

The Return of Bottle Buddy.

Well that was fast! We are back at it. As updated in last week's blog, I screened out of the clinical trial and am back under the care and treatment of the excellent team at Southlake.  This treatment I am now heading into, called for  PICC line to be installed since one of my new medications would  need to be administered over a 48 hour period. I was quickly booked for the procedure this week, in time for my first chemo day on Thursday. We've also had more bloodwork, a CT Scan (I think I've had 7 of these to date!), and other screening tests--- it really has been so great to be able to have this excellent follow up and and care so close to home.

Now, this new treatment regime has something old and adds something new to the attack on my cancer.  With the return of one of the previous medications,  comes the return of something I had nicknamed "my Bottle Buddy"! As you may recall, I previously talked about "My Bottle Buddy" in one of my posts earlier this year, back in January. At that time, when that treatment finished up, I was very excited to have my chemo bottle removed and in turn have my PICC line removed. At the time, my bottle buddy was really getting on my nerves. The bottle was with me 24/7 and at that time it was for five days in a row, every 3 weeks for quite a few months. It followed me everywhere I went, I mean everywhere! It even slept with Michelle and I each night, neatly tucked between us with its own pillow to keep it upright, lol. 

As I mentioned in that blog, my "bottle buddy" was a constant and visible reminder of my cancer. It was very difficult to ignore. It wasn't painful or really that uncomfortable. It did however move around a lot, wiggling and flopping from side to side as I moved.  The plastic tubes also seemed to get tangled in the holding pouch a lot. I was successful at hiding it underneath long sleeve shirts. But I have to say it was great to have it off for the summer and I was able to enjoy swimming and wearing t-shirts.  With fall here and winter coming, I guess one silver lining with having my bottle buddy back, is that I will be able to once again easily conceal it under a long sleeved shirt so no one will really be able to notice it (except maybe for the big noticeable bulge under my shirt lol). At least it will only be attached for two days this time, instead of five days in a row like last time. 

Now that we have our sweet new puppy Lily, I will also need to be extra careful that she doesn't try to bite the tube or the bottle.  We shall see how that goes! Lily loves to cuddle up on my knee and I don't want to give up that if I don't have to. So far so good,  she doesn't really seem to pay any attention to it.

How long will bottle buddy be with me this time?  Well, it will be with me for as long as the treatment is working.  Our hope is that this treatment will work for as long as possible. Time will tell!  How's it going so far? Well within the first 10 mins as the new chemo started to infuse, I really could feel it, I had a few side effects that were quickly addressed by my health care team.  I've had some nausea, but overall the meds they give you to take really help to make things more comfortable.  I am immunocompromised, so again, our concerns with COVID are elevated and we are taking extra care, as well as all the extra precautions we take to watch and monitor for any other infections.

All that goes to further say, as I welcome back my bottle buddy and the chemo treatment again, I must admit that we continue to have a love/hate relationship.   I love it when it works, hate it when it is inconvenient or if it doesn't do the job!

I hope that you enjoy your weekend everyone!  Embrace your "bottle buddy", whatever that might be!

Richard