Not Playing the Waiting Game!

I was going to call this week's blog, The Waiting Game, mostly because that is what our/my life seems to be right now, a never ending waiting game! Waiting for test results, waiting for next steps in my treatment and waiting for this lockdown to be lifted so life can return to some sort of 'the new normal'. Most of all we are waiting to check off more of our family bucket list items that are currently on hold. I guess we are all experiencing our own personal waiting game. This week, when I was discussing possible blog topics and titles with Michelle, like we do most weeks, she quickly pointed out that despite the waiting game that we are on, life still goes on, and despite cancer touching our lives, we've all made conscious efforts not to wait and to keep moving forward.

She reminded me that we really do have so much to celebrate and be thankful for, even during these dark times. While we feel like we are 'stuck in neutral' , life continues on for better or worse. She was quick to remind me of all the "better" moments that have been happening in our family's life over the past few weeks and months. It really helped to refocus my thoughts and reflect on some of the good milestones and positives. Sometimes we can get lost in a never ending cycle of negativity and disappointments, focused on cancer and treatments, and waiting for the next best thing, or any thing really, to happen. So with this in mind, and with a refocused attitude, I have to share that we actually have been doing more and we are not always playing a waiting game!

Over the past few weeks we have many instances to celebrate and be thankful for the blessings that have come our way. Michelle just accepted a new global role with her company.  She has worked hard for this and we are so very proud of her and I am so glad I am here to share it with her. Despite our personal family obstacles and support she gives me, she has remained strong and continues to be focused on loving us but also providing excellence in her career.  It's not easy and I know how worried she is about everything, but she keeps going.  Jonathan has completed his university degree and is exploring a variety of options that will use his skills and talents. He recently has been doing some stock footage/time lapse 4K video and posting it for sale.  Not easy to keep moving forward, when much of the film industry has slowed, and just when you are trying to launch.  Josh continues to move ahead in his job and at the same time he is exploring further post university studies. Not easy to keep working and advancing during a pandemic and we are so proud of him.  Sophie, our youngest, is a candidate to graduate with distinction from Queens, and has just completed her application to a Masters program. Her little sticker shop "Opal and Fern" just celebrated its first anniversary and has generated over two thousand item sales in its first year. An amazing achievement. Not easy to keep excelling at university and launching a business, when I know how worried she is about me, when she should be just enjoying her university years, but she keeps on reaching and we are so proud.  Even I have kept moving forward.  On a personal note, I supported a colleague in writing an article for the Canadian Association of Principals journal focused on leadership during the pandemic, was named as an author and it was published this month. This is one more  bucket item that I can cross off the list!  

Other positives include the health of my family remains good (except for me of course). We are generally happy and are managing/coping pretty well during this pandemic. Despite the constraints, we seem to be navigating it pretty well (even with five adults under one roof) at least from my point of view. Our little Lily continues to be the bright light for all of us and we just adore her. What a wonderful addition to our family.  

Michelle is right, we aren't  stuck in neutral, life goes on, we go on, and we need to appreciate these moments, the effort and celebrate all along the way!

No more waiting!

Richard

Birthday Season, AKA Cake Month!

This week's blog comes courtesy of My Michelle.

October is Birthday Season at the Erdmann’s, AKA Cake Month. 😊

Between October and early November, our 3 children and myself all celebrate our birthdays.  At times it feels not a week passes by and we are blowing out candles, singing “Happy Birthday” and cutting yet another cake.  When the kids were small, things often doubled up yet again, as we had kid parties with all of their friends, and then we would have a family celebration on the day.  Over the years we’ve tried things to try and decrease the sugar rush:  combining parties, foregoing cake for at least one of us (usually I would volunteer as we were totally caked out by the time my birthday rolled around), decreasing to a few cupcakes, substituting fruit or ice cream and even going down to “just a slice” rather than the whole cake.  But no matter how you slice it 😊 it has become lovingly known as October is “Birthday Season” for the Erdmann’s!  Thank goodness Richard’s birthday is in June, it gives us a break and something to look forward to and by then, we are surely ready for cake!

We have had a few memorable cakes that stick out and have become “Erdmann family legends”.  There was the year we had all of these little Barbie dolls whose “skirts” were made of sponge cake and with each doll of a different colour of fondant icing, from soft pinks to lavender and powder blue.  There was the year we had a 3D Teddy Bear cake and full on teddy bear picnic.  Then there was the year we had a 3D pirate ship, 100% edible, even down to the “gold bullion” and treasure chest – even the sails were edible.  That year we had the party at a bowling alley and people came from all around the building, to get a look at this cake.  The kids still talk about that one, and Josh who is turning 24 this year, asked if he could have a repeat!  I remember the year we also had a “James Bond” theme the year Casino Royale came out, now that too was a cake to remember!  Sometimes I’ve made the cake, (I love to bake), and many times we let the professionals handle it.

The trouble with having birthday season, is that because each week it’s someone’s birthday, sometimes the pure fun and joy can get a little lost in the shuffle – especially when as parents we  were working full time, the kids had full agendas with school/university and after school activities/jobs, throw in work travel and commuting and well sometimes it was like “let’s just get this done!”.  We knew this at the time, and tried to change it up, but sometimes you just got sucked into that birthday planning vortex!

This year, we’ve been trying to slow things down a bit, trying to savour each special moment and memory.  This year we have decided, everyone gets cake (including me, whoopee!), and we are making each birthday a special one, highlighting the one day for the person, and making sure that we are making those special memories.  With COVID and what we fear is a 2^nd wave, with Richard on treatment, we’ve been especially careful to keep our bubble small.  Birthdays this year have been just the five of us, fairly relaxed, and trying to make a few dreams come true.  

We count ourselves extremely fortunate to be celebrating these days together and we hope for many more.  We have been fortunate that Richard’s treatments and procedures seem to have been scheduled all around the birthday dates, but leaving those key dates free.  Last week Richard wrote about changes to his treatment, the need to pivot and move to Plan C, and our hopes to be considered for a clinical trial at Princess Margaret hospital.  We were all feeling discouraged and disappointed at the lack of options and next steps out there.  Now, it feels like a little bit of hope has been injected into our lives as we head into October and birthday season.  I am happy to report that those assessments for him and the clinical trial are underway!  We just need to stop that cancer in it’s tracks and slow it down,  so we can have more time, more celebrations and more cake!

I am so happy and grateful that we are celebrating yet another October and Birthday Season with Richard and our family, and I look forward to my double fudge chocolate cake, and it’s many candles.  I’ve earned every one!

I can’t wait to celebrate with you,

Love Michelle

Our Photographer

This week's blog is courtesy of My Michelle .

Our home is filled with photographs.  Some are framed and covering most of the available table tops and walls.  Some are in boxes and stored on shelves, in drawers and under dressers.  Lots are on hard drives and stored electronically.  Many are school age photos of our kids, the trusty photo shoots from Sears, proud memories of proms and graduations (our own and our kids), birthdays, anniversaries and family holiday times together. Images that chronicle important events and candid moments in our lives together.

And then you come up the stairs and turn the corner and you see a collection of a different kind, a gallery sampling of some fine quality photography - mainly wildlife, flowers and birds, taken by Richard.   His other personal favourite images to post are "food", and he has been known for posting on facebook some of the more grand Sunday roast dinners and various baking challenges we've might have gotten up to over the years - and there were many!  He actively posts his images on various social and photo club platforms, some have over 30,000 views. Many are very, very good.  I've encouraged him to sell some of the images, but he is reluctant to do so, and I always wondered why.

I myself am not much of a photographer- I'll take a selfie now and again, capture a moment on my phone of something that takes my eye, but generally that job has fallen to Richard to capture the special family moments and memories.  A role not limited only for our immediate family, but our extended family as well.  We  often tease him, our personal papparazzi, as he was always snapping photos, taking so many, to get that perfect one!  But as life goes, and with so much having changed, people who have left us, looking back through all of the images, we are all so glad we have them, and importantly, that he took them.  

Now the challenge with always being the photographer, is you are behind the camera and not as often in front of the camera. So as much as you are a part of the event, with the eye of an artist,  knowing the people so well, and in that quest to capture the perfect moment, he's not always in the photograph! Richard invested in a tripod with a remote control so in recent times, we were able to get all of us in a number of shots, or we would take turns taking the snaps.

I have always been a little cavalier about photos, happy to have them after they are done, glad I bought all of those Sears portfolios of the kids (I was always a sucker to buy the whole thing!), grateful to have them all and the meaning of life they truly represent.   I've never been a person to create reams of photo albums, or scrapbooks, was always too busy or had other things to do.  As organized and a planner as Richard is, surprisingly he didn't push for this either.  But now we plan to go through those boxes and get things in order, print off some of our favourites that currently exist in the digital world, and give some away to others who may enjoy them and take comfort in "remembering when"

Now I get it, especially as you face how fleeting and fragile life can be, the value of capturing those photos. I am so glad he did.  I also get why he doesn't want to sell some of his more artistic ones.   They are a part of him, the things he saw that had some beauty or interest to him personally, something that spoke to him.

Keeping his love in our photographs, my photographer.  

             

Richard's Flickr Photo Gallery

Love, Michelle

Celebrating Fathers

Sunday is Father's Day. My children ask me every year, what I would like for a Father's Day gift. My usual response is "nothing" because I really have everything that I need or want. But this year is a little bit different, because what I really want is more time! I want more time to see them continue to mature into adulthood and beyond. I would like to be there to see them find a life partner, to hopefully have children of their own, and build on their career paths. They each have so much potential and unique talents. I know that they have exciting futures ahead of them. I really want to be apart of these milestone moments. I hope that cancer doesn't take all of them away from me and I can share in some still to come.

From the moment each of them came into Michelle and my lives, they changed our outlook and focus in life forever. As parents and as a father, you learn as you go. I am sure that we/I have made our fair share of mistakes along the way but based on the wonderful young adults that they have become, we couldn't have done that bad of a job raising them. We always tease Jonathan, that he taught us everything we needed to know about being a parent, and Josh and Sophie reaped the benefits! I hope that the many wonderful childhood memories that I hold dear in my heart are memories that they too will never forget. 

I have been so fortunate to be with all three of them for the entire summer each year. This is one of the blessings of having a career in teaching. This has meant that I have been able to be 'present' for them on weekends, holidays and all summer long. This is a special gift of time that I have been given. I can remember packing them all up in the wagon and making our way to the park each day. I can remember spreading the garden hose out on the lawn so that they could run through it on a hot day. Listening to them laugh and giggle and try to spray each other with the hose. Taking trips to the public library and signing out books for summer reading. Visiting the local wading pools to cool down prior to getting our own pool. Stopping for ice cream or a small box of Timbits during our travels. Going on day camp trips to various parks, zoos and outings. Watching them jump on the trampoline trying to do flips, playing a fierce game of badminton or croquet in the backyard. Licking popsicles on a humid day, watching them learn to do dives and grading their hand stands in the pool competitions, roasting marshmallows by the fire, making homemade pizzas on the bbq and sitting by the poolside fire at the end of a great day of swimming. "Dad, dad, dad - watch me!" And who can forget Soccerfest which always seem to land on Father's Day each year. These are just a few of our wonderful summer memories.

I can honestly say that being a father has been my greatest achievement in life. I am so fortunate to have three exceptional children (proud dad moment here). I am so very proud of the amazing adults they have become. Each of them have strong morals, determination and a kind heart. They have so much potential. Having the privilege to parent alongside Michelle, (who is an outstanding, dedicated mother) has been incredible. I could not have asked for a better life partner. We are not expert parents by any means, but we continue to dedicate our lives to guiding them and providing them with opportunities to succeed in life. We have really put a focus on them throughout our lives. We would not want it any other way.

I want to wish all fathers and father figures out there a Happy Father's Day. Well Done! 

"Of all the titles that I have been privileged to have, "Dad" has always been the best." ~ Ken Norton

Love you always Jon, Josh and Sophie!

Dad XOXO

Celebrations & Milestones

Throughout the year we all celebrate milestone events like birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, retirements and graduations. These moments in time give us a chance to celebrate, recognize and highlight a happy or important event in ours or someone else's life. We all need these special moments. They provide us with joy, bring family and friends together and give us positive memories to cherish and remember for a lifetime. This week alone, Michelle and I will be celebrating our 32nd wedding anniversary and my 56th birthday. This year, many of us are feeling a little less celebratory, like we are missing out on a 'full' celebration due to the current restrictions and limitations. I say keep on celebrating!  

Last June was such a busy month for us so we decided not to formally celebrate our wedding anniversary. I was retiring (and we had lots of events & parties to attend), Michelle's mom's health was not well, and we had many other things happening so we decided to not go out for dinner or plan anything special like we normally do for our anniversary and instead we planned to combine it with our retirement trip. Unfortunately my health got in the way and we had to cancel our retirement/anniversary travel plans.  As a result, we do regret not taking the time to go out for that wonderful, romantic dinner for two or plan a special getaway weekend. We have had so many wonderful adventures, special dinners and moments during past anniversaries. This year, we are not able to go out for dinner or book a special getaway due to COVID-19. Instead we had our own romantic dinner for two on our deck (with the occasional visit throughout the evening from each of our three children). A beautiful evening was had, and actually it was much better than a table for two at a crowded restaurant. The lesson learned here is to make memories and moments wherever you are or whatever the circumstances. 

October is birthday month at the Erdmann household!  We have three birthdays in quick succession during the month. First off is Sophie, followed by Joshua and finally it is Michelle's birthday by mid October. We often say that it is our birthday cake month. After cake number two we sometimes say, do we really need another birthday cake? The answer is always Yes! Yes we do!  

"A good life is a collection of happy moments." ~ Denis Waitley

If you are lucky enough to have children, you will be celebrating many milestones for sure. I truly miss those baby and early years when the milestone events seemed to happen almost on a daily basis. First laugh, first words, first steps, first day of school, losing that first tooth and many more.

Jonathan, Joshua and Sophie are the pride and joys of our life. Michelle and I are immensely proud of each of them in their own unique ways. Through triumphs and pitfalls, through good times and bad, through the ups and downs of daily life we continue to be amazed at their resilience and positive outlooks on life. We hope this never changes.  We can honestly say that they have grown to be thoughtful, caring and responsible young adults. Michelle and I have always focused on family first, sometimes missing out on a personal goal or achievement to support our children. We have no regrets. It was well worth it. Each of them has provided us with the stories of our lives. We love them dearly. 

All of my fondest memories have involved my family and friends. They bring true meaning to life. When family & friends get together to eat, drink, talk (and even sometimes dance) it brings a smile to my face. Family reunions at the cottage, pot luck dinners, pool parties, family bbqs, boat rides in the bay, breakfasts at the local diner with your friends, these are the moments to hold dear. 

We all recognize milestones or significant events for a reason. They bring joy and happiness, they provide us with lasting memories. They bind us together. Despite our current situation that we all find ourselves in, don't pass on the opportunity to make new special moments with your family & friends (when we are allowed to) durning these challenging times. You never know when you will lose your chance to do so.

"Life should not only be lived, it should be celebrated". ~ Osho

Celebrate! 

Richard

Remember When.......

This week's blog comes courtesy of My Michelle. 

This coming week, Richard and I will be celebrating 32 years of marriage.  You know how people always say, "where did the time go", "it seems like it was just yesterday", or "you haven't changed at all".  Well a few weeks back, Richard and Jonathan rigged up our old VCR and we watched our wedding video from 1988.  Well, it was definitely 32 years ago and  we definitely have changed!  But, it was really so much fun to talk to the kids about the "back story" and relive the memories of that day.  

There is something so magical in memories and telling stories of times gone by to your kids.  Its an enduring thing in families I think.  I know my brothers and sisters and I loved to hear my mom's version of how she and my dad had met back in the 50's, how they had met at a barn dance, how he had asked her to dance and she turned him down!  Dad would tease her and tell another version of the story, and well, long story short and after much eye rolling, thank goodness dad persevered and the rest, as they say, is history!  We were digging through some old documents the other day that Richard's mom had saved and came across some love letters from his dad to his mom that she had lovingly saved.  So happy we have these memories to share and pass on to our children, the stories of our lives.

One of the great things about our wedding video is how it captured the music, the dancing, all the fun that we remembered during our reception. Seeing all the disco dance moves, watching that crazy conga line, all of the bridesmaids in their beautiful blue dresses swirling about the dance floor.  Pure Magic!  Re-living the beautiful speeches, words of advice and wishes from our loved ones.  Then there we were: so young, so optimistic, the world at our feet.  Richard had graduated from teaching at Queen's the day before, and I had just completed my third year. We were in such a hurry to get started and share our lives together.

I guess it is only natural heading into this anniversary to be particularly thoughtful and remembering days gone by.  We have a shadow hanging over us all for sure, as we battle through these days.  For us it is a battle for time and preserving Richard's health.  We have scans, tests and treatments that create a great deal of anxiety for all of our family. It is as much an emotional and mental battle as it is a physical one.  What helps?  As you surely know by now, we love music and dancing.  One of our favourite songs is an oldie by Alan Jackson called "Remember When", a tear jerker for sure.  It is truly a song suited to anniversaries and about a love and life well shared.  

If I could, I'd still do it all again!  

Put on the music Richard, meet me in the kitchen and let the dancing continue!

And we'll remember when.

Love Michelle

Anticipating a perfect summer day!

We are so happy that the weather has finally improved and we can all get outside and enjoy some sun in the backyard. It has been a long few weeks being cooped up in the house. Cabin fever was beginning to set in for sure for us.

Michelle and I love to garden. It gives us great satisfaction to clear away the dead debris from our gardens and around our pool to see the perennials and hosta plants trying to peek out towards the sun. We swear that they grow a few centimetres by the end of that first day of cleaning. We love to go to the nursery and pick out our vegetable patch plants and our beautiful hanging baskets the colours and aromas in the nursery are a sure sign of Spring. Luckily the nurseries have been allowed to open this week so we can get to visit them.

We take great pride in our backyard oasis. It takes several days to get it back into shape after the winter. We are amazed at how quickly the weeds can grow (faster then the perennials for sure) in the gardens and in between the interlocking stones.  This week we bought four yards of mulch and have been topping up the beds with it. Amazing what a light topping of rich, black mulch can do to control the weeds and make it look so good. I am thankful that I am still able to fully work in the garden and am really surprised that my stamina remains (although I must admit that I can't go at the pace that I once did). No full out energizer bunny mode however. Slow and steady wins the race, right?

Another sure sign of spring is our annual pool opening. We opened our pool late last year and regretted it, as the warm weather came early and we missed out on a few good weeks in & by the pool. This year we decided to open the pool early. That was a mistake. We have had several days of snow (yes snow) and rain since it has opened. We decided not to turn on the heater. You can't win! We hope to finally turn on the heater this weekend and begin to fully enjoy our pool. Lounging by the pool is so relaxing. It is one of our favourite things to do in our backyard.

Our BBQ has already been busy grilling a variety of menu items. We are currently in the middle of an Erdmann family rib fest contest. Jonathan, Joshua and Michelle have all had a turn so far making their own dry rub and bbq rib sauces. It has been a close and delicious contest for sure. I'm not sure I can top those rib sauces but I will give it a try later this month. We haven't had our pizza oven on the bbq yet but maybe we will be able to get it going this weekend. We are also excited for our first bonfire of the season. Nothing is better then sitting around a crackling fire, roasting marshmallows and watching the glowing flames dance in the moon light. 

Finally it is almost badminton season. We can't wait! The Erdmann's love badminton and we take it very seriously. Our net broke last year so we are a bit delayed in the start of the season. If you happen to get a glimpse of us playing you will most likely witness a gentle game of 'how many volleys can we get over the net' quickly turn into a spike drive battle where the birdie usually ends up torpedoed into someone's body. Don't be fooled, we are fierce badminton players. Watch out! 

I am hopeful that I will still be able to participate fully in these wonderful family outdoor activities this summer. At the moment it looks very promising. My health has been good and I am able to fully participate in all of them at this time. I hope it stays that way! These activities allow us all the time to take our mind off of our current circumstances. They are a wonderful distraction for sure. They bring us joy and bring our family together. More great memories.

Sunshine is the best medicine!

I hope that you are enjoying your backyards and families too. Make new memories and treasure those moments you make together.

Richard

Unsinkable! #Unsinkable

A big thank you to Unsinkable for sharing my story and my personal cancer blog!  You can find my article under the Neighbourhood Heroes section. The article is called Fighting Cancer with Positivity. Check it out if you get a chance.  

Thanks to all for following my journey!

Richard

This Morning, With You, Having Coffee

This week's blog comes courtesy of My Michelle.

I love coffee!  

That promise of the perfect cup of dark roast delight, is one of the things I look forward to every morning.  I come by this love of strong coffee quite honestly.  We always used to joke that my father made coffee so strong the spoon would practically stand up in it!  Richard's family too were big coffee drinkers, and I remember when we were newlyweds and would be home in Kingston visiting from our jobs in Toronto, and Richard's mom Doreen would come over to visit and bring donuts, calling out "Ronnie put the coffee on".  He surely would, and we would have much fun, laughter, talking and getting caught up over a pot or two.  We were so lucky that both our families got along so well.

When our children were young, and life was very busy, I looked forward to precious Sunday mornings when the kids slept in a little longer (with any luck), Richard slept in, and I was able to slip outside with my steaming cup of coffee, Darcy laying by my feet. I would just sit by the pool and watch the morning unfold and I would take the time to think, to plan and to dream.

Despite all that we are going through these days, Richard and I always take time together in the morning, and enjoy our coffee.  It is our special time to gradually wake up with the day, to share moments in quiet conversation while the rest of the household and the world still sleeps.

This morning, with you, having coffee - the best part of my day.

Love Michelle