Gone Fishin'

This week we had the good fortune to be able to get away for a few days to a cottage on Lake Musoka in Gravehurst, Ontario. It was a glorious few days up in beautiful cottage country. I had forgotten how majestic it was up in Musoka. A true Canadian paradise. This was all made possible thanks to the generosity of a work friend and her family who graciously let us stay at her family cottage. This was my week off of chemotherapy and we took advantage of the time off and freedom, to get away. This cottage trip was a wonderful reprieve from our everyday routines and weekly appointments and provided us with a glorious, picturesque location (as we have not been venturing out much these days) to rest, relax and enjoy family time together. We all seemed to enjoy the serenity, the quiet and the chance to be one with nature again. Nothing makes you slow down and count your blessing like a trip to the cottage.

One of the highlights of the trip was the fishing! When I was younger my family owned a cottage and we spent most of my summers there and I used to go fishing almost everyday. I loved to troll the shores of the lake for bass, pike and perch. It was a great lake to catch fish. They always seemed to be biting. My parents sold the cottage when I was in my early twenties. At the time, I was focused on my new life and didn't visit the cottage that often. It was becoming too much for my parents to handle, so they sold it. I have always regretted it. Once we moved to York Region my opportunity to go fishing diminished considerably. I have not really gone fishing in a boat since 2012. Thanks to my wonderful work friends, they arranged for Jon, Josh and I to have a guided fishing excursion on Lake Muskoka (the girls opted to lounge on the deck, lakeside). Our guide Mike took us on his professional fishing boat to all the great fishing spots on the lake. I even bought a new fishing rod, reel and tackle box full of new lures. I always wanted to take the boys fishing and this was my chance. We had a great morning of fishing and caught a variety of fish including walleye, bass, pike and perch. So glad they were biting that morning. Nothing better than that feeling when a fish takes your bait- fish on! As you

can see from the smiles on their faces, I think the boys had a good time! We caught enough for a great fish fry. The girls meanwhile enjoyed their time on the dock, reading and relaxing with their morning coffee- and there may have been a trip into town.

We also enjoyed a quick trip into Gravenhurst later that day to do a bit of sightseeing and shopping too. In the evening, we made a reservation on the patio at a local restaurant and had a wonderful dinner on the patio with all five of us. It just doesn't get any better than that. Although the time in Muskoka was short, we made the most of it and enjoyed every minute.

You might be asking at this point, what does this have to do with cancer. I might have asked the same thing reading this blog. The answer is absolutely nothing! Sometimes you just want to forget about cancer (even just for a few days). This wonderful trip allowed my family to forget all about cancer, our medical issues and worries for just a few days and simply enjoy our beautiful country in all its natural glory and quiet time together with each other. What more can you ask for. Words can not express how much this time away meant to me personally and

how much I enjoyed our much needed quiet time together by the lake. We are already planning our next excursion for my next week off chemo in the middle of August. Hopefully it will include more chances to go fishing (and shopping :) ) too!

Life is better at the cottage!

Richard

I'll get by with a little help from my friends!

For this week's blog, I wanted to take some time to let you know, just how much of a difference it makes to me to be able to connect with each and every one of you.  I can honestly say, that if it was not for the support of my family, friends & colleagues, I do not think I would have made it this far and be here today. My determination and will power not only comes from you all, it truly amplifies it. It can be so easy to just give up, feel defeated and let cancer win. There are moments when you are so tired and emotionally drained that you start to lose hope and for a split second feel 'what is the point in fighting this battle, when the outcome is already determined for you'. But then there are moments of hope, of optimism, of resilience that push you to fight on. To fight for every extra day that you get, to fight for the chance to continue to experience more of life's moments, to fight to not be the "typical patient". Often these sparks of optimism and resiliency come when I am thinking of my family and friends. I want to be here to experience life with you all. You all make me want to fight on!

I am so very thankful for the outpouring of support that I continue to have from so many of you. Words can't adequately express what it really means to me and to my family. To have someone take the time out of their own busy lives to drop a note, a text, a call, leave a blog comment, reach out, take time to have a coffee, this is overwhelming to me.  It means the world to me to know that others are thinking about and praying for me and my family. I often think and worry about those that do not have a support network behind them like I do. We all need an army of support to continue our cancer battle. Who is pushing them to keep up the good fight? Who is giving them the positive messages of support and encouragement? We all need someone to be our advocate and champion. 

We don't often realize that the small gestures that we show towards others can make such a big difference in their lives. A simple smile, a hug (when we can hug again!), a text or email or letter, a phone call, or an offer of support can truly make a difference. I am humbled by those that have reached out that I have not had contact with for many years. Those that have taken the time to reach out to me and offer their support. Old work and high school colleagues, old friends that we have lost contact with, all reaching out and cheering me on. I know this is not easy, I know it's hard to know what to say.  For me, I feel I am truly blessed. 

Fighting cancer can be a lonely battle, even with family and friends by your side, but knowing that others 'have your back' and are quietly or vocally supporting you in their thoughts and prayers, helps to keep you going. 

The little photo of the friendship plaque, is a piece that hangs in our kitchen, a gift from a kind lady years ago and was given to us as a "thank you" and is a memory of such fun times shared. A small token, but one that we hang proudly in our home and is a reminder of the power of friendship. She too is fighting her cancer battle "across the pond" and we think of her and her family often and wish her well.  It was the perfect image for today's blog.

Thanks to all for your ongoing support and encouragement. It is making a difference. 

Oh, and I get by with a little help from my friends! 

Richard

Celebrations & Milestones

Throughout the year we all celebrate milestone events like birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, retirements and graduations. These moments in time give us a chance to celebrate, recognize and highlight a happy or important event in ours or someone else's life. We all need these special moments. They provide us with joy, bring family and friends together and give us positive memories to cherish and remember for a lifetime. This week alone, Michelle and I will be celebrating our 32nd wedding anniversary and my 56th birthday. This year, many of us are feeling a little less celebratory, like we are missing out on a 'full' celebration due to the current restrictions and limitations. I say keep on celebrating!  

Last June was such a busy month for us so we decided not to formally celebrate our wedding anniversary. I was retiring (and we had lots of events & parties to attend), Michelle's mom's health was not well, and we had many other things happening so we decided to not go out for dinner or plan anything special like we normally do for our anniversary and instead we planned to combine it with our retirement trip. Unfortunately my health got in the way and we had to cancel our retirement/anniversary travel plans.  As a result, we do regret not taking the time to go out for that wonderful, romantic dinner for two or plan a special getaway weekend. We have had so many wonderful adventures, special dinners and moments during past anniversaries. This year, we are not able to go out for dinner or book a special getaway due to COVID-19. Instead we had our own romantic dinner for two on our deck (with the occasional visit throughout the evening from each of our three children). A beautiful evening was had, and actually it was much better than a table for two at a crowded restaurant. The lesson learned here is to make memories and moments wherever you are or whatever the circumstances. 

October is birthday month at the Erdmann household!  We have three birthdays in quick succession during the month. First off is Sophie, followed by Joshua and finally it is Michelle's birthday by mid October. We often say that it is our birthday cake month. After cake number two we sometimes say, do we really need another birthday cake? The answer is always Yes! Yes we do!  

"A good life is a collection of happy moments." ~ Denis Waitley

If you are lucky enough to have children, you will be celebrating many milestones for sure. I truly miss those baby and early years when the milestone events seemed to happen almost on a daily basis. First laugh, first words, first steps, first day of school, losing that first tooth and many more.

Jonathan, Joshua and Sophie are the pride and joys of our life. Michelle and I are immensely proud of each of them in their own unique ways. Through triumphs and pitfalls, through good times and bad, through the ups and downs of daily life we continue to be amazed at their resilience and positive outlooks on life. We hope this never changes.  We can honestly say that they have grown to be thoughtful, caring and responsible young adults. Michelle and I have always focused on family first, sometimes missing out on a personal goal or achievement to support our children. We have no regrets. It was well worth it. Each of them has provided us with the stories of our lives. We love them dearly. 

All of my fondest memories have involved my family and friends. They bring true meaning to life. When family & friends get together to eat, drink, talk (and even sometimes dance) it brings a smile to my face. Family reunions at the cottage, pot luck dinners, pool parties, family bbqs, boat rides in the bay, breakfasts at the local diner with your friends, these are the moments to hold dear. 

We all recognize milestones or significant events for a reason. They bring joy and happiness, they provide us with lasting memories. They bind us together. Despite our current situation that we all find ourselves in, don't pass on the opportunity to make new special moments with your family & friends (when we are allowed to) durning these challenging times. You never know when you will lose your chance to do so.

"Life should not only be lived, it should be celebrated". ~ Osho

Celebrate! 

Richard

Unsinkable! #Unsinkable

A big thank you to Unsinkable for sharing my story and my personal cancer blog!  You can find my article under the Neighbourhood Heroes section. The article is called Fighting Cancer with Positivity. Check it out if you get a chance.  

Thanks to all for following my journey!

Richard

Beating the Average

Back by popular demand! This week's blog post comes courtesy of My Michelle.

I find that we are constantly bombarded in our daily life with the concept of averages - average temperature, average rainfall, average returns on investment (lol), average side effects of a medicine and the average number of people who will be touched by cancer.  It’s like when you buy a new car, and everywhere you look, suddenly everyone has that same car.  I find that everywhere we look, there are statistics on cancer, or coverage in the news on cancer survival rates, or people telling their story about their cancer journey.  If you go online and search up the  "facts and figures" on average rates of cancer and trends, well this is very discouraging indeed.

What is an average?  It is a number, a single value that can be somewhat useful to compare data.  But the thing about averages, well there are outliers.  I learned about this concept early on in my life as it relates to marks in school.  While it was all well and good to achieve an “A”, if everyone had an “A” well, what did it really mean in terms of value?  If however, most had achieved a “B-“, well then, being an outlier and achieving an “A”, that was really something.   So to my mind, when you are talking about cancer and living - we do not want to be average,  an outlier - that’s where we want to be!  And why not us?  Why not Richard?  He is strong, and if anyone can beat the average he can.  

At the time of Richard’s diagnosis, we were presented with some not great averages which were very hard to hear.  Our best shot was to get moving quickly with all of the diagnostics, the radiation treatment, and the chemo, and get him eating.  Richard has completed his first line of treatment, is eating almost normally and returned to his normal weight.  We have a little routine, where every morning I ask him - ‘how are you today’, and most days he ranks himself as an 8/10 - once we have been off the chemo a few days, that is.

We continue to look for options for the next steps in his treatment, new therapies that may be in clinical trials for this type of cancer.  Luckily this is where I can help in advocating for Richard.  We all have an important role to play to support him, keep him laughing, keeping his spirits up and we are so grateful for all the outreach and acts of kindness from all of our family, our friends and peers.  

This past week, there was a focus on mental health with #BellLetsTalk day. One of the key messages of this campaign is about the value of listening and how simple kindness can make a world of difference.  They note it can be a smile, or an invitation for coffee and a chat and asking how you might help.  We find that the fact you are reaching out to us and we know you are there for us, being good listeners is just amazing and greatly appreciated.  

So how do we feel now that this first line of chemotherapy for his cancer is now over?  We are grateful the chemo did what it was supposed to do and the cancer is stable (though it would have been better if it was gone!).  We are doing our best to live and enjoy life as normally as possible with many adventures to be thrown in along the way. 

Most of all, we are fighting to beat the average!  

Here’s to all of the outliers out there  - CHEERS

  

Let's be extraordinary!  Still Kitchen Dancing with you,

Love always,

Michelle

Darcy- My Faithful Companion

They say that dogs can sense when something is not right. I have to agree! Darcy, our family dog seems to sense that I am sick and not myself these days. He seems to be giving me some extra attention and love.  Although Michelle and Sophie ("the girl's") will always be his favourites, he is spending more and more time by my side. We often laugh that he treats each of us in a special way. He has an almost sibling rivalry with Jonathan and Joshua ("the boys") and he know that they are the ones to rough house with. One thing is for sure, he knows how to get our attention for dog treats, often getting more than one from each of us!

Since I have been home (in retirement) he has been my faithful companion throughout the day. Wherever I go in the house, Darcy is there with me. When we wake up in the early morning, to have our first morning coffee, regardless of how early in the morning it is, he is at our feet (so close that we are touching in some way). When we are watching t.v. in the family room, he is lying close by our chairs. When I sneak up for a short nap in the middle of the day, he soon comes up and joins me for a nap (I secretly thing he really enjoys this time of day the most!) 

When my nurse comes to our home for my weekly dressing change and to clean my PICC Line, Darcy is there to make sure she is treating me right, almost guarding me. It did take him a few weeks before he began to warm up to her but I guess she has passed the test, as he seems to tolerate her presence in our home more and simply lies by my feet during the process.

Darcy wants to be with us all the time. When we leave our house to go out for an errand or dinner, you should see the look on his face. He is forlorn and looks heartbroken. He often sits on our staircase with his tail down and has the saddest look on his face. How could you leave me? When we return however, we can see him patiently waiting in the office window, looking for our car to enter our driveway. His tail is wagging a mile a minute when he sees that it is us exiting the car door. When the front door opens his tail is wagging and he gives us the most heartfelt greeting every time. His facial expression seems to be telling us "I missed you and I am so glad that you are back." Everyone should have a welcome greeting like this when they come home each day.

Darcy even helps motivate us to go on our nature walks. He loves to join us as we walk the trails of Newmarket. He helps to ensure that we are going at a good pace but at the same time stop for breaks so he can do his business and sniff out others business along the way! He is always in the lead. I love it when he looks back at us and seems to be saying "Are you guys coming!".

Having a pet takes dedication, commitment and patience, especially when they get older. Darcy, in his 13th year,  no longer has complete control of his need to remind us/give us a warning that he needs to go outside to do his business like he use to do. Indoor accidents are on the rise in our house these days. However, his love, companionship and his unwavering loyalty to us makes up for these new shortcomings.

We love you Darcy and thank you for being an important part of our family! Thank you for being my faithful companion. 

Richard  

In those moments....

Once you hear the words, you have cancer, you really can't think or focus on anything else. It consumes your thoughts. It consumes your day. Most of your thoughts are focused on dealing with the daily issues this disease brings forth and the uncertainty of what your future holds.

There are however, moments when you forget, even for a few minutes that you have cancer.  I cherish these moments. Sometimes they are brief, only lasting a minute or two. Other times they last for longer periods of time. These moments allow me to dream again, to focus on others, to smile and laugh! You could easily spiral down into self pity and a sense of loss of hope. These moments help to refocus your attention on the positives and on possibilities.

I have found ways to help create these moments each day.

Time with Family & Friends

Spending time with my family helps to create these moments. One positive byproduct of this diagnosis is that our family is spending more quality time together. Family walks with our dog Darcy, kitchen conversations, reminiscing about important milestones or memories and frequent FaceTime video calls with Sophie (who is currently away at university) help to shift attention to others. My family has also been burdened with this cancer diagnosis. I'm sure it is on their minds each day. Difficult to escape from it. None of us chose to have this happen but we are forced to deal with it anyway. Trying to continue with normal family routines helps. Focusing on the positive helps. Celebrating small victories helps. Spending time with those that matter the most, definitely helps.

Friends and colleagues have been supporting me in so many ways. I am grateful to have them help me find ways to create these moments. From canoeing on the marsh, to boat rides on Lake Simcoe, to friendly axe throwing competitions. Meeting for coffee, having great conversational walks, text messages; they all help to distract.

Music

Music has always been a way to escape for me. I enjoy many different genres of music from rock to country. From classical to top 40. Music releases stress for me. It allows me to escape the troubles and worries of the day. I have been bringing my headphones with me to chemo so that I can 'escape' during the hours of treatment. The power of music is clear. The change in my emotions simply by playing a certain song is powerful. It can uplift, inspire and change your mindset almost instantly. I have to admit that on occasion you could even catch me dancing around the kitchen.

Social Media

I seem to have this reputation of being obsessed with social media. I do enjoy viewing, posting and creating on social media but I don't consider myself obsessed. I use social media for many reasons: 

to share, to learn, to explore, to connect and to engage. I find it a great learning tool. It allows me to gather and share ideas, resources and learn from others around the world. I must admit that I enjoy it! When I focus on social media, I forget about my worries and it provides me moments to escape and focus on something else.  

Nature

Never underestimate the power of nature! Michelle and I try to go for walks as often as possible. Getting out in nature instantly changes my mindset. I am so grateful for the pathway system that has been created in Newmarket. We are so fortunate to be able to explore our town through a series of interconnecting walkways that are connected to nature. One of my passions is photography. Nature is often the focus on my photo shoots. Nature is beautiful.  It can calm you down. Getting out into nature always creates these moments for me. Give it a try!

Darcy

They say that dogs can sense when something is different or not right. Our dog Darcy has been by my side each day while at home. Wherever we go in the house, he is there with us. When I go for a short afternoon nap, Darcy is snuggled up next to me. He is by my feet when scrolling through my phone, he is with me when I sit outside to get some fresh air and sunshine. We are so blessed to have him as companion.

I am so thankful for these moments and thankful for the people and things that help me create these moments for me. Find your moments!

Food, Glorious Food! Update

I am pleased to report that I can once again can eat solid foods! Not all solid foods but many including: spaghetti, pasta, rice, grilled cheese etc. I even had some salty, crunchy chips during the last Leafs game! Not really a healthy choice, but boy did they taste good! 

Richard