Together Is My Favourite Place To Be

This week's blog is courtesy of My Michelle

I am sitting and writing this little note with my laptop on my knee, outside, my feet  up on an ottoman and looking out over our backyard.  What a view!  Our gardens have really come along this year, and with most of them being perennials, we are just getting ready for the summer time show and next round of blooms now that the peonies are fading.  Richard is lounging on the sofa beside me, finally taking time to relax and rest a bit - admiring all of his hard work.  He is my chief gardener, flower bed digger upper,  and all around pool maintenance guy!  It's a hard thing to get him to slow down and rest.  He is always up, busy, finding something to do, or fix, or organize.  But you see, this week we have entered into the second round of chemo, and this is hitting him a little harder than the last series.  A few more side effects, a bit more fatigue, and well the acknowledgement really of the need to slow down, just a bit.  I must admit it's hitting me harder too emotionally.  This week I find too, that the kids  are a little more sombre, a little more considerate and checking in on their dad.

We've been planning a few day trips to visit some of our favourite local spots, with the next one on our list to be the beautiful Niagara on the Lake.  We had a lovely day planned for tomorrow and are just discussing should we go or not.  Our conversation is going something like "Well, it is a bit of a drive, we are kind of tired, what will it really accomplish".  We need to be careful as he is immunocompromised and of course be in consideration with the ever present risks of COVID-19.  But at the end of the day, we are hoping that a change of scenery, maybe a stop at a special little hat store (I want to buy him a hat!), pick up a bottle of wine or two and just getting away, will give our spirits a little lift.  Sometimes you just have to put one foot in front of the other, venture out and go for it!    

We certainly had plans for more grand adventures, more travel, more experiences in far a way places.  While at times we are disappointed that things are not quite working out the way we planned,  I have to say,  all of that really doesn't matter, not really, because together, well that's my favourite place to be.

Love 

Michelle

Kitchen Dancing

This week I am pleased to have a blog guest, My Michelle. Enjoy!

I come from a long line of “kitchen dancers” and lovers of music.  We put on the music, and we can’t help ourselves, the dancing soon follows.  I remember watching my mom and dad sneaking in a dance or two, what must have been a welcome release when dealing with a large and boisterous family.  My sisters and I took turns learning to dance with our dad, first standing on his feet as he danced us around, progressing to the old two step and then jiving.  We sisters would also dance together, taking turns on who would lead and who would follow, throwing in a dip or two. As we grew up and boyfriends came and went, husbands joined our family and my dad passed away, the opportunities for kitchen dancing naturally waned and changed.  But then - I met this wonderful man, Richard, from a small family, who also came from a family of lovers of music and “kitchen dancers”. He fit right in, took my hand and twirled me around the kitchen and we have been dancing ever since! My mother would often comment on how she would think of Richard and I dancing in the kitchen and how it would make her smile to think of us so happy and dancing!

We’ve been having a rough go at times during Richard’s cancer journey, but through it all, we still put on the music, and rock out in the kitchen to our favourite songs.  Sometimes we just hold on to each other and sway to an emotional tune or two. While our sons are less than enthusiastic to join in and often give us the “eye roll”, they have been known to hover around and act as DJ, while Sophie is right in there, adding in her moves. We love these simple moments and I know we are raising the next generation of kitchen dancing enthusiasts!

Studies have shown that music can relax your mind, energize your body and reduce stress.  Upbeat music can make you feel more optimistic and positive about life. I know that Richard finds listening to music during his chemo treatment marathons, helps him a great deal - helps to take his mind off what is happening in the moment, to block out the beeps, buzzes and conversations at the infusion clinic. But I know that he is also listening to our favourite songs and doing his own “kitchen dancing” from the infusion chair and planning his moves for when we get back home!

You are always dancing in my heart,

Love Michelle

My Michelle

The most important person in my life, my Michelle.

I'm sure that she will try to persuade me not to publish this post but I must publish it for all to read. It is important for me to share how much it means to me to have her in my life, to have her always by my side and how much I love her.  Michelle has been there for me for all the important milestone in my life. We live our lives together, taking each step in the journey as one. I could not have asked for a better partner during this new uncharted path that we are on together.

I honestly do not know how I could navigate this journey without her help.  Without her being apart of every step of this cancer journey. We are life partners and have stood beside each other for thirty-three years now. She is my soul mate.

Personal Champion

Michelle has quietly been supporting me and our family throughout this whole ordeal. She tries to remain positive and optimistic at all times. She always has a way of bringing us back to our focus which is our family.  I wonder if she truly understands the important role that she plays. She is the glue that binds us. She is the mediator, the encourager, the advocate and the champion of our family.

Michelle has been heavily researching my cancer diagnosis, trying to find new treatment options and advocating to doctors and nurses on my behalf. She supports me during appointments and keeps me focused on moving forward.

I know that she has not been sleeping well these past few months. The mental burden and impact of this disease is real.

Michelle is constantly checking in on me to see if I need anything or if there is something I would like her to do (or stop doing). She goes along with our 'dancing in the kitchen', local bucket list adventures and even goes to bed early (before 9 p.m.) on those days when I am tired without question.

Behind the scenes she is quietly disinfecting our home to ensure that there is less chance of me getting sick. Regularly cleaning sheets, surfaces and items in our home. She is trying to continue with some normalcy in our daily lives, balancing home and career. This is not an easy thing to do. I admire her ability to manage and persevere in a positive way.

When I need a pep talk, Michelle is there. When I need someone to reset my thinking back to the positive, Michelle is there. When I start to move back down into a place of self-pity, Michelle is there.

I worry about her and my children. They too are stuck in neutral. They are putting on a brave face for me but I know deep down that they are worried and concerned for our future. I am too. Unfortunately this is a ride that we must all take with its ups and its downs.

She brings a new meaning too, in sickness and in health. Michelle has been there for me and continues to be there for me, every step of the way.  I am so blessed to have her in my life.

I love you Michelle. XOXO

Richard