Putting on our shoes!

This week's blog come courtesy of My Michelle.

I love shoes of all kinds, it’s no secret and I don’t know why, I just do!  There’s just something about them that brings me joy – whether they are dress shoes with heels, a beautiful colour (blue is my favourite, but red shoes are special too!) and my more functional ones for walking and running.  There is a standing joke in my family, as one time, I did buy a few (yes I said a few) on a bit of a shopping spree at Jimmy Choo, and I continue to have the store reach out to me with my “personal shopper Andrew” trying to lure me back! Yes, I may have a bit of a shoe addiction problem!  But I do come by this honestly!  My mom is a big shoe lover.   At this time she is in long term care and not quite the same since her stroke of 2 years ago, but it brings a big smile to my face as I think of her and how just before this all happened and how we did a bit of a shoe “fashion show” trying on all her favourites!  She too is a lover of red shoes!  Lucky for me, Richard has never been too bothered by this hobby of mine as a “shoe collector”, although he was a bit concerned about the “Choo” shopping spree at the time! Lol.

This week kicked off the Southlake Virtual Challenge and fundraising efforts – Richard and I are entered as a team called Richard’s Roadrunners (Beep! Beep!) – not that we are doing a lot of running these days (other than back and forth to Toronto and Prince Margaret Hospital) but we are doing our best to get out and get walking, enhancing our fitness and wellness goals  for this amazing cause.  You just don’t realize how fortunate we are to have this amazing hospital here in our community and the top notch health care teams that they employ, until you need it.  Southlake and the Regional Cancer Centre have been there for us and Richard has received excellent care and follow up – and we are doing our small part to show our appreciation and raise funds.  We are actually in the top 10 for fundraisers for this cause and we thank  you for your support!

Certainly we have been much more active in the past than we are now, we have just settled into a new normal, and lowered our expectations a bit – adjusting to accommodate Richard’s energy levels and I’ve been adding a bit more in to ensure we hit our goals!  While I say adjusting to meet Richard’s energy levels, I have to say he is doing well and not much keeps him down and he continues to outpace me for sure on our walks!  Movement gives you so many benefits, not the least of which is a change in landscape:  something else to look at, other people to see, a chance to see neighbours and say hello (from a safe physical distance of course) and there is something about walking, that also gives you time to talk.   Sophie and our puppy Lily are consistent walking partners, and at times our sons Josh and Jon will join in.

It sometimes takes real motivation, teamwork and support to “put the shoes on” and get out the door, and in many ways, this is a metaphor for how we face these days and this part of our cancer journey together.  There are days when Richard leans on me and with encouragement, to  “put the shoes on”, and outside we go.  There are days (and these are many) when I lean on him and get motivation from him as he “puts the shoes on” and heads down to Princess Margaret Hospital, to participate in a clinical trial, and with the hope that this is working for him and for us.  

When he is away for his treatment, whether that is for the full day or with the overnight hospital stay, our house is a lot quieter,  our puppy mopes around, our kids mope around and we wait for the texts to come through from him to let us know  how Richard is doing, how the treatment is going, how he is feeling and importantly “when are you going to be home?”.  On these days, it is really hard to “put the shoes on” and go about my day.  Sophie and I try and get out for a walk to keep our team going and contributing to the virtual challenge, but we don’t really go out until we know that “daddy is doing well” and we can have a bit of a spring in our step.

We all have our challenges that we are working through every day and I hope that you find motivation to “put your shoes on” and just put one foot in front of the other.  I find that is sometimes all it takes, and before you know it,  you are walking and coping and able to face what life throws at you that day.  That’s all it takes, just face what this moment brings – that’s what I am trying to do.

I encourage you to “put your shoes on”, and if you need a little motivation, there’s nothing like a new and colourful pair to literally put some spring in your step!  I have a beautiful pink pair of trainers that make me smile.

Now I wonder what the new line up is this spring at Jimmy Choo….?

Love Michelle XO

Back to the Drawing Board......

Well we got that dreaded phone call again! This week my oncologist called to share the results of my most recent CT scan. These scans are regularly scheduled on a quarterly basis to keep track of the progress/lack of progress of my cancer treatment. You might remember that after my last CT scan, we got a call from my oncologist a day later with bad news. He regrettably explained that my current treatment wasn't working to halt the growth of my cancer tumours and therefore this  line of treatment would have to be discontinued and I was started on the third line of treatment option, or what we affectionately called "Plan C". He indicated that this was the last line of defense that they have available and approved to deal with my cancer. With it came the return of 'bottle buddy', the PICC line back in and bi-weekly trips to the chemo suite! We'd been on this path for about 3 months, and it was time for another scan.

This time around we got no early phone call after my CT scan. This had to mean that this was good news, right?  I was wrong! It was not good news.

On the scheduled call, he indicated that the third line of treatment I was currently on was unfortunately providing mixed results. Although most of my tumours remained stable, the tumours in my liver were actually growing. Not by much, but they were continuing to grow. This meant that this line of treatment wasn't being successful. It was not doing its job.  

Disappointing news for sure and very upsetting for our family. What was next? Was there a plan D for me? This third line of treatment was considered the final level 

of defense for esophageal cancer.  What I have going for me, is that despite what the CT scan is showing, I feel pretty well and functioning as normal.  But no doubt about it, cancer in your liver is not good news. I have once again been referred to the Princess Margaret Hospital to seek eligibility in some newer and earlier phase cancer clinical trials that hopefully this time I will qualify for. Our hope is that there will be one that is safe, appropriate for me and has some promising results. Fingers crossed.

I guess I should consider myself lucky. Most patients with esophageal cancer don't make it this far or for this long. I am truly an outlier! This was our hope and dream. I guess we will now need to be  trailblazers too!  With persistence, a positive attitude, the love and strength of my wife and family and just a little bit of luck, I will continue to be a positive outlier! 

Staying positive, staying hopeful and planning to pave a new trail for myself and others to come! 

Thank you for your continued care and concern. It is so much appreciated.

Plan D, here I come!

Richard

Is this our new Normal?

Earlier in the week, on our trip to our local grocery store Michelle and I ran into a former colleague and friend of mine who has recently moved away. We were surprised to see her back in Newmarket.  Her first instinct was to come over and give Michelle a big hug but she quickly stopped herself after remembering the social distancing rules. She smiled and offered a warm greeting instead. It was a bit of an awkward moments for all three of us. If things were 'normal' or as they used to be, a big hug would have surely been given and appropriate under the circumstances. We all seem to be missing the human contact of others at this time.  Is this our new normal?

On our daily walks through the nature trails of Newmarket, whenever we come across others walking on the path, we quickly go into single file formation, like we are in the military. Michelle says that I go into formation way too early! Most times, the other people on the path do the same for us, but not always! We sometimes end up off the path and on the grass to be sure to keep a safe distance away from others. Is this our new normal?

Ordering items online before Christmas this year was a new novelty for Michelle and I as we had never done online shopping to any great scale before. We were amazed to find all the items that we were looking for and having them delivered straight to our home. We were definitely impressed at the time as it was quick, convenient and saved us time. 

Lately, online shopping has been our only option for us for most of our purchases. We have even tried curb side pickup. I must say that this is definitely not our preferred method of shopping. The time spent scrolling through the items online (trying to find the specific brand we are looking for) and the wait time (sometimes a few days) for the item to be ready for pick up as well as the wait time in your car for the item to be brought to your car has proven to be a bit frustrating. Is this our new normal?

We have even tried online grocery shopping for a few weeks. The novelty has definitely worn off for this as well! We miss grocery shopping in person. Often the items we have tried to purchase have not been available online or are out of stock. It is also not very convenient to order groceries several days in advance as often we run out of them early and have to make a quick trip to the grocery store anyway. This will not be our new normal!

Our three kids are pro's at ordering Uber Eats. We are trying to support local restaurants at least once a week during this time of staying at home (we are also tired of cooking dinners too so this gives us a making dinner break too). We downloaded the UberEats app and ordered food. To our disappointment the order arrived with items missing and with the added fees, the price of the meal was too high in my opinion. I guess I'm just old fashioned and cheap! I would much rather just pick up my take out food. This will not be our new normal (at least for Michelle and I, our kids are another story. They love to order online) !

As our government announces that our economy is beginning to reopen and our day to day lives 'may' begin to return to some form of 'normal' again, I can tell you that I am actually still quite scared. I am scared of getting Covid-19. Although my doctors have indicated that my immune system is not compromised at the moment, I still worry about contracting the virus in my current condition. I do feel that I have several of the risk factors for sure. We have been staying home for the most part, washing our hands regularly and following expected guidelines. Better safe than sorry.

We will all need to remain vigilant and continue to be cautious. I know for sure that I will still be following the guidelines closely even after restrictions have been lifted. 

I guess this will be my new normal!

Stay well, stay safe.

Richard

Unsinkable! #Unsinkable

A big thank you to Unsinkable for sharing my story and my personal cancer blog!  You can find my article under the Neighbourhood Heroes section. The article is called Fighting Cancer with Positivity. Check it out if you get a chance.  

Thanks to all for following my journey!

Richard

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!

Throughout my educational career I have always tried to highlight and champion the ideas around growth mindset, perseverance and grit. I truly believe that a sincere focus on these traits can help to support goal achievement and overall success in life. I have had many opportunities to witness first hand examples where this has been the case. More recently I have witnessed one of the best examples of the power of perseverance, grit and determination right here at home, through our daughter Sophie.  

To me, Sophia exemplifies the qualities of perseverance, grit and determination. She has definitely inherited some of this from her mother and I, but she has taken it to a whole new level!  Daily we witness her efforts to set goals, organize, prioritize and execute on her plans. Sophie sets high standards for herself and plans out exactly how she is going to achieve and maintain these goals, and utilizes bullet journalling extensively to stay on track. I am truly impressed with the time Sophie spends detailing her daily, weekly and monthly goals and objectives through her bullet journal.  

Recently Sophie started up a small, online business called Opal and Fern Designs (sorry proud father moment here!) which features artisan bullet journalling stickers and other items that she herself crafted and uses in her own daily journalling. To me this has been a perfect pairing of her talents! She is using her artistic ability and her focus on goal setting to her advantage.  I believe that her business serves multiple purposes. First it provides an outlet for her creativity. Sophie has always been doodling, drawing and creating art from an early age. She loves the Arts, hence taking Art History as one of her majors in university. Secondly, it provides a small income for her. She has been saving up money to attend a university class in Venice, Italy. (currently postponed until next year due to recent flooding and COVID-19). Finally, I personally feel that starting up and maintaining her online sticker shop has offered her a distraction from our current family situation. Sophie has always been a quiet, shy person who avoids conflict and uncertainty. Her intense focus on her university studies and her sticker company allows her a way to express herself artistically, a way to get out of being stuck in neutral, and an escape from our current family reality.

I am so impressed with Sophie's ability to maintain focus, to persevere, to strive to achieve her goals and dreams despite all of the obstacles and barriers that have recently plagued our family. Regardless of our current circumstances, she continues to be laser focused on her university studies. She has a clear plan for her future and is working hard to achieve her goals. Starting up a small online business while maintaining a high calibre university level is an amazing achievement. We are all so impressed and proud of her.  She is our superstar!  We all get very involved in her success and her business, so excited when we see a sale come through on her ETSY shop, fascinated to see the global reach of her business, and all have tips and input - some she has welcomed, others not so much lol!

I continue to worry about her and the rest of my family as the effects of my cancer diagnosis and prognosis continue to take a toll on all of us, not physically but mentally and emotionally. It has been difficult for all of us. Each family member is trying to deal with it the best that they can in their own unique ways. Sophie seems to have found a way to cope with it through the Arts (her passion). She has even got our whole family painting on canvases in our kitchen during this time of isolation to keep us busy and help distract us. 

Like Sophie, I too try to find ways to distract myself and continue to try to maintain positive momentum. My personal determination to stay strong and persevere while dealing with my cancer journey is what I believe has kept me going all this time. Despite the many setbacks and obstacles that have come my way over the past six months I try to push through them and keep going. 

As both Michelle, and Dory from Finding Nemo keep saying,  "Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming"! 

Richard