Birthday Season, AKA Cake Month!

This week's blog comes courtesy of My Michelle.

October is Birthday Season at the Erdmann’s, AKA Cake Month. 😊

Between October and early November, our 3 children and myself all celebrate our birthdays.  At times it feels not a week passes by and we are blowing out candles, singing “Happy Birthday” and cutting yet another cake.  When the kids were small, things often doubled up yet again, as we had kid parties with all of their friends, and then we would have a family celebration on the day.  Over the years we’ve tried things to try and decrease the sugar rush:  combining parties, foregoing cake for at least one of us (usually I would volunteer as we were totally caked out by the time my birthday rolled around), decreasing to a few cupcakes, substituting fruit or ice cream and even going down to “just a slice” rather than the whole cake.  But no matter how you slice it 😊 it has become lovingly known as October is “Birthday Season” for the Erdmann’s!  Thank goodness Richard’s birthday is in June, it gives us a break and something to look forward to and by then, we are surely ready for cake!

We have had a few memorable cakes that stick out and have become “Erdmann family legends”.  There was the year we had all of these little Barbie dolls whose “skirts” were made of sponge cake and with each doll of a different colour of fondant icing, from soft pinks to lavender and powder blue.  There was the year we had a 3D Teddy Bear cake and full on teddy bear picnic.  Then there was the year we had a 3D pirate ship, 100% edible, even down to the “gold bullion” and treasure chest – even the sails were edible.  That year we had the party at a bowling alley and people came from all around the building, to get a look at this cake.  The kids still talk about that one, and Josh who is turning 24 this year, asked if he could have a repeat!  I remember the year we also had a “James Bond” theme the year Casino Royale came out, now that too was a cake to remember!  Sometimes I’ve made the cake, (I love to bake), and many times we let the professionals handle it.

The trouble with having birthday season, is that because each week it’s someone’s birthday, sometimes the pure fun and joy can get a little lost in the shuffle – especially when as parents we  were working full time, the kids had full agendas with school/university and after school activities/jobs, throw in work travel and commuting and well sometimes it was like “let’s just get this done!”.  We knew this at the time, and tried to change it up, but sometimes you just got sucked into that birthday planning vortex!

This year, we’ve been trying to slow things down a bit, trying to savour each special moment and memory.  This year we have decided, everyone gets cake (including me, whoopee!), and we are making each birthday a special one, highlighting the one day for the person, and making sure that we are making those special memories.  With COVID and what we fear is a 2^nd wave, with Richard on treatment, we’ve been especially careful to keep our bubble small.  Birthdays this year have been just the five of us, fairly relaxed, and trying to make a few dreams come true.  

We count ourselves extremely fortunate to be celebrating these days together and we hope for many more.  We have been fortunate that Richard’s treatments and procedures seem to have been scheduled all around the birthday dates, but leaving those key dates free.  Last week Richard wrote about changes to his treatment, the need to pivot and move to Plan C, and our hopes to be considered for a clinical trial at Princess Margaret hospital.  We were all feeling discouraged and disappointed at the lack of options and next steps out there.  Now, it feels like a little bit of hope has been injected into our lives as we head into October and birthday season.  I am happy to report that those assessments for him and the clinical trial are underway!  We just need to stop that cancer in it’s tracks and slow it down,  so we can have more time, more celebrations and more cake!

I am so happy and grateful that we are celebrating yet another October and Birthday Season with Richard and our family, and I look forward to my double fudge chocolate cake, and it’s many candles.  I’ve earned every one!

I can’t wait to celebrate with you,

Love Michelle

Green Thumb Distraction

One of the ways that we have been keeping ourselves busy and distracting ourselves from our current 'situation' is through gardening. Michelle and I have always loved to garden. We have spent many years collecting, purchasing and dividing our perennials to create gardens around the house. We have been fortunate to have participated in a few perennial swaps over the years too, so for the most part we have not had to purchase many of our plants in our gardens. This is great news as we have alot of gardens throughout our property. Perennials are definitely the way to go. We both take great pride in making sure our backyard gardens look good at all times. This can  be somewhat time consuming but we have never regretted our time spent planting, weeding, watering or admiring the results of a day's work.

We love our trips to the local nurseries to check out the latest plants available. Each spring we make our annual trek to a variety of local nurseries to check out the beautiful blooms and backyard oasis products. We could spend a day and a fortune in them. Luckily we have good self control (for the most part) and usually leave with only the items we were coming in for in the first place (but not always)!

Gardening is a great distraction from life. You focus all of your attention on nurturing the soil, arranging the plants, caring for them and watching them grow and change throughout the year. This takes you away from your everyday worries. It becomes a daily task to keep on top of it all. It is great to see that when you select a good variety of flowers and plants to place in your garden, you will have a variety of blooms throughout the seasons. That is the goal, having a forever blooming garden. 

This year our vegetable garden has never been better. Last summer I built Michelle a three tiered container garden and she has filled it to the brim!  With themes for each section of course 

- salsa garden, herb garden, and a variety of different lettuces patch.  We were lucky enough to get our veggie plants early (as it seems that many people decided to take up the 'garden hobby' this year during our time spent social distancing). Our middle son Josh also got into the action, starting some of our plants from seed and contributing jalapeno peppers, romaine lettuce and basil.  I must say that there is nothing better than picking your own fresh tomatoes, peppers, onions or lettuce straight from your garden and making a wonderful meal with them, sort of like our own mini farm to table! Talk about fresh from the garden. Our oldest son Jon, thinks our vegetable garden should be bigger and we should be more sustainable, but our little "victory garden" is all we can handle at this time!

We have come to peace with sharing our veggie garden with a variety of little critters that help themselves to the lettuce and cherry tomatoes on occasion. Can you believe this! As I sit here in my lounge chair by the pool writing this blog post, a squirrel has just ran by me with a large green tomato in his mouth. I kid you not! If only they could help weed once in awhile!

Gardening takes patience and effort. The constant watering and weeding are endless. I swear that some of the weeds grow back before we have even finished the loop around the garden. In the hot, hazy days of summer, it seems that the weeds are the only plants that are flourishing. At one point this summer our grass was almost completely brown with small green patches (of weeds) growing sporadically throughout.  The darn things!  I must say that there are few things more satisfying when gardening then surveying your work when the weeding is done!

As a family project this summer, we have decided to create some stepping stones for our garden pathway. When the kids were small, given I was off in the summers, I would come up with a summer art project to help spark their creativity and help to keep them busy for a few days. When they were younger, we made mosaic tile art. This year, Sophie suggested that we return to this form of art and create mosaic tile stepping stones for the garden. Surprisingly, the boys were also game!  We have all the supplies ready to go. Our hope is to get them done over the next two weeks and before Sophie goes back to university this fall. They will make a great addition to our garden and will be a lasting memory for us all.

Whatever you are going through in your own life, might I suggest that you consider gardening as a therapeutic, natural way to deal with your stresses and anxieties. Trust me, you will not regret it. And if you don't have a green thumb, start small. Plant some hardy perennials like hostas in your outdoor garden (trust me, you can't kill hostas)! It has helped us to deal with our daily emotions, has given us a beautiful backyard view to admire each day, just a great place to start the day.

Happy gardening, we'll keep going with the never ending challenge of the weeds and the tug-of-war for the tomatoes with the squirrels!

Richard

 

Home Movies - Treasuring the Moments

Like all of you, we are trying to find ways to fill our days now that we are basically sequestered at home for the foreseeable future. As I had previously mentioned in my post Spring Cleaning- Got Junk! , I have been slowly cleaning our basement, which has 20+ years of boxes and discarded items to go through. It has been an overwhelming, tedious task for sure, sorting and sifting through the boxes, bins and collections of stored items. A lifetime of memories are stored down there. It has resulted in some exciting discoveries. 

A few days ago, our son Jonathan came down to the basement to check on me as I have been trying to go downstairs for an hour our two each day to keep the cleaning momentum going (after taking a few weeks off). It has given me a purpose or job to do each day during these long days at home. Jon quickly noticed that I had uncovered one of my old video recorders, along with a box of video cassette tapes and even a collection of old film reels from my childhood. Jon, being a film affcionado and a lover of all things to do with movies and technology, immediately brought these items upstairs and was trying to figure out how to get them operational again. In no time, he had the video camera charging, figured out how to link it up to the flat screen and we were ready to go.

We decided to have a viewing party that night. Having not taken the time to label the video cassettes when I should have years ago, each cassette was a mystery tape. Child birth, birthday parties, christenings, family BBQ's, even surprise videos that my parents had taken on their trips and vacations that I have never seen before. What a discovery.

Our now adult children were mesmerized at seeing themselves as babies and during their toddler years. What a treasure it was to be able to show them what they were like back then. Michelle and I had almost forgotten their baby voices, their actions and reactions. It was great to see and hear them at this age again. Our kids couldn't get over how young Michelle and I looked- mind you, we think we hadn't changed at all (lol). In some of the videos, we were close to the same age as Jon is today. 

These videos took us back in time, so sad but also wonderful to see family that have now passed on, to re-live family celebrations, moments that were captured on video that might have been forgotten forever. It was wonderful to hear our children's voices, how they they giggled and spoke as young children and to hear the voices of those family members that had passed on or changed due to health. The videos also showed the little nuances and activities going on in the background.  Photographs could never capture those for us to remember. In this age of instant Snapchat photos and fifteen second phone video clips - home movies are a dying art!

I have to admit that I got very emotional watching these videos. Many of these videos had me choked up and almost in tears and Michelle had to leave the room. Not only because of the emotions of the memories that can flooding back to me while watching them but also because I began to think about the events and moments that I would not be a part of in the future. Cancer will eventually rob me of my chance to be apart of making memories with my family. I resent this. I have to admit that it makes me angry at times and melancholy too.

We are slowly working through the video cassette tapes, labelling them and hoping to hold video viewing parties every now and then. Next on the list is our wedding video and then going way back to the 8 mm movie reels so that our kids can see what life was like when dad was a baby. Luckily I also found the projector so that we can watch them too. Fingers crossed it still works.

I encourage you to dig up your old albums and home movies, spend some time looking through them. Set up a viewing party of your own. You will never regret the time you spend, the conversations that they ignite, the laughter and tears, the memories that come back to life before your eyes.  

Keep making memories, capturing & treasuring the moments.

Richard

In those moments....

Once you hear the words, you have cancer, you really can't think or focus on anything else. It consumes your thoughts. It consumes your day. Most of your thoughts are focused on dealing with the daily issues this disease brings forth and the uncertainty of what your future holds.

There are however, moments when you forget, even for a few minutes that you have cancer.  I cherish these moments. Sometimes they are brief, only lasting a minute or two. Other times they last for longer periods of time. These moments allow me to dream again, to focus on others, to smile and laugh! You could easily spiral down into self pity and a sense of loss of hope. These moments help to refocus your attention on the positives and on possibilities.

I have found ways to help create these moments each day.

Time with Family & Friends

Spending time with my family helps to create these moments. One positive byproduct of this diagnosis is that our family is spending more quality time together. Family walks with our dog Darcy, kitchen conversations, reminiscing about important milestones or memories and frequent FaceTime video calls with Sophie (who is currently away at university) help to shift attention to others. My family has also been burdened with this cancer diagnosis. I'm sure it is on their minds each day. Difficult to escape from it. None of us chose to have this happen but we are forced to deal with it anyway. Trying to continue with normal family routines helps. Focusing on the positive helps. Celebrating small victories helps. Spending time with those that matter the most, definitely helps.

Friends and colleagues have been supporting me in so many ways. I am grateful to have them help me find ways to create these moments. From canoeing on the marsh, to boat rides on Lake Simcoe, to friendly axe throwing competitions. Meeting for coffee, having great conversational walks, text messages; they all help to distract.

Music

Music has always been a way to escape for me. I enjoy many different genres of music from rock to country. From classical to top 40. Music releases stress for me. It allows me to escape the troubles and worries of the day. I have been bringing my headphones with me to chemo so that I can 'escape' during the hours of treatment. The power of music is clear. The change in my emotions simply by playing a certain song is powerful. It can uplift, inspire and change your mindset almost instantly. I have to admit that on occasion you could even catch me dancing around the kitchen.

Social Media

I seem to have this reputation of being obsessed with social media. I do enjoy viewing, posting and creating on social media but I don't consider myself obsessed. I use social media for many reasons: 

to share, to learn, to explore, to connect and to engage. I find it a great learning tool. It allows me to gather and share ideas, resources and learn from others around the world. I must admit that I enjoy it! When I focus on social media, I forget about my worries and it provides me moments to escape and focus on something else.  

Nature

Never underestimate the power of nature! Michelle and I try to go for walks as often as possible. Getting out in nature instantly changes my mindset. I am so grateful for the pathway system that has been created in Newmarket. We are so fortunate to be able to explore our town through a series of interconnecting walkways that are connected to nature. One of my passions is photography. Nature is often the focus on my photo shoots. Nature is beautiful.  It can calm you down. Getting out into nature always creates these moments for me. Give it a try!

Darcy

They say that dogs can sense when something is different or not right. Our dog Darcy has been by my side each day while at home. Wherever we go in the house, he is there with us. When I go for a short afternoon nap, Darcy is snuggled up next to me. He is by my feet when scrolling through my phone, he is with me when I sit outside to get some fresh air and sunshine. We are so blessed to have him as companion.

I am so thankful for these moments and thankful for the people and things that help me create these moments for me. Find your moments!

Food, Glorious Food! Update

I am pleased to report that I can once again can eat solid foods! Not all solid foods but many including: spaghetti, pasta, rice, grilled cheese etc. I even had some salty, crunchy chips during the last Leafs game! Not really a healthy choice, but boy did they taste good! 

Richard