When one door slams shut.... another door opens!

Well that didn't take long! In less than a week I have been fortunate enough to be offered another phase 1 cancer drug trial at Princess Margaret. We are shocked and amazed really. When I went down for my scheduled appointment earlier in the week, I was not expecting to hear any positive news. I had been preparing myself for my oncologist to say that they didn't have another trial to offer at this time and that they would keep a lookout for any upcoming trials and we would be on our own until then. I thought she would offer pain medication and discuss what palliative supports were available. I am not ready for these types of discussions as I look and feel quite healthy, at least on the outside anyway. I arrived at my appointment just in time and was having a bit of deja vu as this appointment was in the same waiting room that I had been in two months previously to discuss my first trial. Here we go again! I didn't have to wait long for my oncologist to enter the room and share some exciting news.  She arrived promptly in the room and after getting Michelle on the phone for the consultation, and with very little small talk, she immediately told us that there was another clinical trial option. We were stunned and shocked really. This is not what we had expected. All week long my hopes had been dwindling and here, the door was opening up again (maybe).  

Of course this will mean that I'll be entering into a few weeks of tests and procedures and likely another biopsy - but I will gladly get poked and prodded and take this on again, with the hope of a better outcome this time around. We are currently in the process of reading over the trial information and will be coming to an informed decision as to whether or not it is a good fit for me. I have found that when your options narrow considerably, your risk tolerance goes up considerably. It will take four weeks for me to flush out from the previous trial, but I am  two weeks into that already so I should be ready to go for the end of the month. This will bring forth another set of tests and round of procedures to go through to qualify and meet the requirements of the study. I am willing to go through all the hoops required in the hope that this new trial will make a difference. 

When one door slams shut, often another door opens. I have found over my lifetime that this statement holds true. Hope is something to hold onto, despite the evidence that might suggest otherwise. Last week my hopes were dwindling and I couldn't help but feel defeated. A week later there is new hope. Just having an option, gives me hope!  This helps to reinforce that there is always hope around the corner. A new day, a new beginning. Don't get me wrong, I do understand that this new trial could eventually end up having a similar result like my last trial, having no new real impact or lasting benefit for me, however we will continue to be hopeful that it will offer some benefit, even a small benefit. At the very least it is offering us new hope and is keeping us going. We shall see how this one goes.  

A new day, a new blessing, a new hope. ~ Author Unknown

Richard 

This week is National Nurses Week! I would like to give a special shout out to all the nurses out there who work tirelessly for their patients with skill, care and compassion. Thank you! I have nothing but admiration for the work you do. By the way, I love nurses so much that I married one!  Love you Michelle.

Run for Southlake- thanks to all that supported us in this four week virtual challenge. We surpassed our goal of $2000. and ended up with $3000. in donations. We are so thankful! We also achieved our goal of 40 km over the four weeks. Thanks everyone.

And so it begins again.......

Well that was fast! After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, I got accepted and have now started on a cancer clinical trial this past week. This new trial has produced many emotions that range from both ends of the spectrum:  hopefulness and trepidation. I have a lot of questions such as: "What have I agreed to?" "Will this be safe?" "Will this have a positive, negative or no impact in slowing down the growth of my cancer tumours?" With limited options comes more risky choices and decisions to make. "Will it be worth the risk?".  As Michelle had mentioned in last week's post, we enter into this with hope.

I must say that I have never visited a hospital so often and in such a short period of time in my entire life!  Last week I achieved a new personal record, five days in a row. To be honest,  I must admit that I have spent the better part of my life trying to avoid hospitals as much as possible. Hospitals have always kind of scared me. This is probably due to the fact that except for the birth of my three children, going or rushing to the hospital has usually meant that someone in my family was hurt or was dealing with a significant medical issue. Hospitals to me, signified concern, worry and fear. That really hasn't changed much for me now that I am a frequent "flyer" in hospitals, but I can now add hope, gratefulness and a sense of awe to this list. I am so very thankful and fortunate that this opportunity has presented itself to me. I am also so grateful for the hospital staff, who have been very compassionate and caring. I am in awe of the wonderful facilities, equipment and level of care that have been offered to me thus far. Simply amazing!

I have said this before but I must say it again, I really had no idea or realization of the vast numbers of people that are dealing with cancer. I am constantly shocked at the numbers.  I can literally see with my own eyes the impact that cancer has on so many others, not just myself. One quick example to share that highlights what I mean.  There is a large, beautiful waiting area  centrally located for patients to wait for their turn to draw blood. The startling part for me is the fact that this waiting area is so full and busy that they need to use the 'deli counter' number system to keep things running smoothly. You check in at the reception desk and wait to see your number come up on the big screen and then proceed to one of over a dozen blood technicians working simultaneously. Yes you read that right, a steady flow of patients getting blood work done from 7 a.m. until around 4 p.m. Surprising and scary at the same time! When you have cancer you sometimes feel alone, that this is only happening to you. This is obviously not the case. So many are impacted by cancer. And that's just the patients, with COVID 19 restrictions, family are unable to come into the hospital, so cancer is impacting so many more.

My new line of treatment takes an hour or so to administer but the monitoring process afterwards lasts a full twenty-four hour period and is preceded and followed up with numerous blood draws and checking of vitals to monitor my condition, hence my many visits to the blood labs and to the hospital. At the moment, I don't seem to have any severe side effects, just a few small things that thus far, all seem manageable. I hope it stays that way.  Is it working? Only time will tell, which will mean more tests and biopsies and the good old CT Scan.  All familiar testing ground for me now!

If you risk nothing, then you risk everything. ~ Geena Davis

Richard