Over the next 20 days

Stay positive! We can fight this. We can beat this, was what we both said to each other on the ride to Kingston later that afternoon. We agreed not to tell our three children until we returned after our visit to Kingston. How would we share this news with them?

Over the next 20 days a variety of tests, meetings and appointments would be booked. I was very impressed with the speed at which the initial diagnostic plan was set up.  The purpose of these tests was to confirm if indeed the tumour was cancerous and if so what the treatment options would be. I had so many appointments to keep track of that we had to start a calendar to keep up with them. Instead of basking in the enjoyment and planning of my second month of retirement,  I was busy visiting a variety of doctors, nurses and health care professionals to get scheduled to get a MRI, CT scan, PET scan, echo-cardiogram and this list goes on and on.

Although each of the doctors, nurses and health care workers and volunteers were polite and courteous, I couldn't help but feel that a large neon label was on me to indicate that I had cancer. At the end of each test, they would come up and briefly discuss what they found and say "Good luck" to me. What did that mean? "Good luck" was that a good sign or a bad sign? Michelle and I were not sure what to think of that comment. I guess it difficult to say anything at a time like this.

We still held out hope. Michelle began to research esophageal cancer and treatments. I secretly researched the stages of cancer. I really had no prior knowledge of cancer, cancer treatments or the fact that so many people are dealing with this diagnosis.

These twenty days were filled with appointments, tests, meetings and uncertainty. What is happening to me? Why? When will we know what will happen next. More questions than answers for sure.

Richard