Previously, in my blogpost entitled SCAN-xiety, I talked about the rollercoaster ride cancer patients and their families go through regarding tests and scans. In that post I described the intense emotions that each test cycle creates for me personally and for my family. It all starts with the worry and wonder leading up to the test. Followed by the anxiousness on the day of the test and finally the concern and the dread of the possible results or outcomes from the test. I must say that waiting for the test results is definitely the most challenging part. Hence the term, SCAN-xiety.
Last week, I had my regularly scheduled CT scan (which I have booked approximately every three months to keep us and my medical team up to date on the progress of my treatment). It was, like previous scans, fairly routine except perhaps for the new hospital protocols that are in place due to the ongoing COVID-19 issues. The CT scan itself takes about 15 minutes. The machine pushes you into a cylinder tube that is rotating. It tells you to hold your breath for five seconds (it seems longer than that). The platform then moves you slowly out of the tube (while you are holding your breath). This happens a few times. Fairly painless overall, except for a few slightly claustrophobic panic moments in the CT scan tube perhaps. And then you wait! Waiting is painful, not literally but emotionally.
Usually you wait until your next scheduled appointment with your oncologist to get the scan results however a few days after my scan I received a call from the hospital to indicate that my oncologist wanted to book a phone consult with me. This was a week earlier than anticipated to discuss the results, which is not usually a good sign. Our family's anxiety levels immediately starting rising after getting off the phone.
Unfortunately my early phone call was not good news. My most recent CT scan results had shown that my first line of treatment, which had been successful up until this point, was no longer controlling the spread or stopping the growth of my disease. My oncologist indicated that it was time to move onto the second line of treatment options.
With our medical team, we are now in the process of determining our next steps, which will definitely include a new round of chemotherapy, a new cocktail of chemo drugs to fight this disease.
However disappointing and discouraging this news is for me and my family, we fight on! It is very hard to reconcile this news, with outward appearances and how I feel overall. My energy level is good, my appetite is good, my outlook is hopeful and I continue to do most all of the things I normally would be doing. We stay positive and we hope and pray for better news to come.
We will not give up!
"Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional" ~ Roger Crawford
Richard
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