Standing Tall Through it All

This week's blog comes courtesy of My Michelle.

We have thankfully approached that one year marker of Richard's diagnosis of stage IV esophageal cancer. I say thankfully, because the odds were against us and all evidence was pointing unbelievably, to a different outcome.  I often get asked "I don't know how you do it?".  Well the truth is, we really don't have much of a choice.  To give Richard the best possible chance, and the best quality of life, we have a chemo treatment plan, we have a follow up and testing plan, we have the excellent care of a health care team who are determined to help us get through it all.  Where we do have choice, is how we think, how we feel, how we treat one another, keeping connected with family and friends, and choosing to "stand tall through it all".

Standing tall, is not a new concept for our family.  It has been a value we have tried to instil in our children - encouraging them to stand up for what they believe in, make their decisions and then stand behind them, always be proud of who they are and to hold their head high.  

In a literal sense, it was one of the things that first drew me to Richard.  Richard always has stood tall, with a great sense of posture, always standing up for what and for those he believes in, always proud of who he is and our family. Richard has stood tall during his career in education, with his peers, his students and their families.

Richard has also approached his cancer journey, standing tall.  As his wife, it is one of the most difficult things to watch him go for treatments, supporting him, but not able to make it go away.  It has been worse with COVID 19 restrictions, where I can't even go into the treatments with him or sit by him in the chemo suite to keep him company.  I drive him to and from every treatment, make sure he is as comfortable as possible, that our bedding is changed and ready for his nap when he gets home (nothing is better than fresh sheets and blankets!), and that our home "sparkles and shines" and is as germ free as possible. He always walks into the hospital with his head high, his backpack confidently on one shoulder, and with purpose in his step.   I try to be strong, be his advocate and his comfort when he needs it.  I don't always stand tall, but I try.  I am a migraine sufferer and have found that I've had a few more than normal over this past year.  On one particular day when it was particularly bad, our kids said to me "Mom, you can't get sick.  If you go down, we all go down."  Certainly, more than ever I feel the need to stand tall and be strong, our family depends upon it.

I know we (and I) don't always have to be strong, that it's okay to give in and have a good cry, to reach out to others for a helping hand, and in fact it is healthy and necessary to do so!  Asking for help, and accepting help, helps us all "Stand Tall" and also gives a chance to others to share the load, and we can maybe "Stand Tall" together.

Proud to Stand Tall through it all and together, with you,

Love Michelle