And These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

This weeks blog post is a collaboration between Joshua and my Michelle, they have helped me jot down a few of my favourite things.

Being at this stage of my disease and in palliative care I've lost the ability to do a few things,  but there are many things I still enjoy. These are a few of my favourite things.

I love and appreciate a nice hot bath. Because I have a few ports and bandages and my trust worthy pain pump, while I can wrap up and do a shower and wash my hair now and again, I only get to take a bath once a week, after I get all "disconnected". So something I really look forward to is taking all of these tubes and bandages off and submerging myself in a nice hot bubble bath. This is the best feeling in the world. Just sitting there and floating around with the smell of lavender can really make me feel alot better.  I say lavender because Michelle and kids loaded me up with bubble bath on my last birthday- and I really do love it.

I also love going out to dinner and eating!  I don't know if you can tell by reading my blog, but the Erdmann's love going out to eat!   Breakfast, lunch or dinner, it really doesn't matter. We have been especially looking forward to eating breakfast on a patio. Eggs benedict, waffles, home fries or anything really! It doesn't matter as long as someone else is making it. Last weekend we drove up to Keswick on an errand and ended up eating lunch lakeside, on the edge of Georgian Bay at a lovely restaurant. It was a heavenly day, the food was good, and the company wasn't too bad either hahaha.  We had my IV and pain pump concealed in a back pack, and I was able to manage the short walk from the parking lot to the patio.  We hope to do it again soon. Breakfast is next on the list. In fact, having such great success with this outing, I've started to book a few more.  In a couple weeks, I look forward to meeting up on the patio with the Ramerwood Public School retirees.  Sorry to all of you who are heading back to the classroom!

Music, music, music - I love music and especially live music.  I'm sure you are like me and really missing this with all of the COVID restrictions we've been experiencing.  Well things are opening up a bit and I can't wait.  This week I was surprised with concert tickets to a band I have always wanted to see. Maroon 5. I haven't been to an outdoor concert in a long time. We've got a couple of seats in the accessible seating area and I'll come in my wheels, and a few of our kids will be sitting a little closer.  Even though I am in the wheelchair section, they should be really good seats. Looking forward to hear music live for once and accompanied by my family. Josh is even going to drive us down as a personal chauffeur/taxi service. Nothing can beat listening to music outdoors and  under the stars.  We have also been having a few small concerts at home, Jon has been working on the guitar for some old Beatles tunes and this has just been great.

And one more thing I just love - sweets!  Palliative care (and I think it's the steroid actually)  has definitely increased my sweet tooth to an even greater extent. I have been indulging in candies and all sorts of sweets that I love. Chocolate goes down really nicely lol.  Interestingly, right now I get lots of cravings for candies I used to eat in the past and in my childhood such as: goodies,  assorted cadbury chocolate bars (you know those little Halloween size, assorted ones?) and black licorice. Thank goodness my family and friends keep me stocked up with baked goods. Everyday I have something sweet. Why the hell not! Lets see what other candy from the past I will pick out for this weekend. In fact, this week our daughter Sophie made some Christmas cookies - I had a taste for it and who says you can't have Christmas in August!

These are a few of my favorite things right now. Having said that, I can't get the song out of my head from the Sound of Music (These are a few of my favourite things), and in fact, that movie is also one of my favourite things!

But bringing things into 2021 ---Maroon 5, let's put some other songs in our head!  Enjoy, I know we will!

"Because I need a little sweetness in my life,  Sugar, Yes please"

Richard

Lily has a bad day

This blog is written by My Michelle.

I think most of you who follow Richard's blog, know that we have a new member in our family, our 1 year old cocker spaniel, Lily.  She is the light of our lives and brings us much joy and laughter, but she also definitely has a bit of the "dickens" in her and at times, thinks she rules the house.  She has wiggled her way into our hearts, and in turn, she has a special spot for each one of us and treats us each differently.  Our son Josh was the one to carry her home in his arms from the breeder, and she always has a special attachment to him.  He's kind of like the big brother who lets her get away with everything and brings her treats.  She anxiously waits for him to return home from work each day.  Jon she treats like a playmate - he's the one who plays "ball and fetch" and she always brings him her toys to play "rough and tough" with.  Our daughter Sophie is the calm one in the household, and Lily loves to lay on her bed and watch out the window while Sophie is busy doing her Opal and Fern Design work.  Richard - well she loves to nap with him - if he's laying down, you can often find her curled up in a ball by his legs and with her head on his foot as she watches out for him.  Me, well I'm not quite sure - sometimes I think she thinks she's the mom and the boss - we are working on that, Lol.

Lately, as Richard's health has declined, we've had numerous people in our home - nurses twice a day, medical deliveries, hospital bed and equipment deliveries - well the door bell always seems to be "a-ringing" and the "strangers" in our home has increased quite a bit.  Lily puts up quite an objection to all of these people coming in and out, and what was once a quiet dog has become very vocal and quite a barker.  We are trying different things to try and reassure her and reward her for when she is quiet, but her desire to warn us and to protect us is quite strong and in her genes.

As Richard's health declines, the stress level in our home has also gone up quite a bit.  Rare is the time when I can just sit and relax and hold Lily on my knee.  She misses these times and rightfully so - what is a dog to do?  She is also very empathetic and sensitive to our emotions, and so as we are a little on edge, we definitely see this in our dog as well.

We had a bit of a wake up call yesterday.  Our usual groomer was ill and unable to take on her clients and we needed to find a temporary groomer for a month or two.  We had an awesome referral, they had an opening and away we went.  It was a very busy day for us that day, and Lily was kind of shuttled back and forth and then dropped off at this new groomer.  I had taken the 1 hr to take a bit of a break for myself - Richard had Sophie and Jon looking after him, the nurse was due and I thought I had a small window for a little self care.  Well things did not go so smoothly as planned.  My phone didn't stop buzzing - Richard's IV was acting up, the nurse had been and left and the IV was still buzzing and Lily's groomer was leaving me messages.  Needless to say - Richard needed me at home to fix the IV and pump, Lily needed me to bring her home, and the groomer was not complimentary at all.  Lily had a bad day.

I was quite hurt at the time, that the groomer had been so harsh with Lily and that Lily had this bad experience with this new groomer.  She has always had great reviews and done well with her regular groomer. We had taken great care to get her used to grooming and being clipped from the time she was a small puppy.  What was going on?  Then, as I reflected, I realized she was acting out because our life was kind of spiralling a bit out of control.  Too many new people, too many changes in routine, too many rapid transitions and too much stress.  Nothing is more wonderful than when life is settled, and Lily is happy and content, behaving and by our side.  We need to get that back.  We need to get all of our emotions under control and actively work to get some serenity back in our lives, especially now.

They say you can learn alot from your dog, and well I certainly have.  We need to live in the moment, we need to enjoy treats now and again with no guilt, nap when you are tired, go for walks every day, slow down, love unconditionally, and lean on those you love.

We love you Lily, thank you for being there for each of us.  It's a heavy load you bear. 

Love Michelle (PS I am the boss by the way) XOX

A Big Grey Cloud.... Here Comes the Sun!

This week's blog is transcribed by Joshua (thanks Joshua!) and Richard.

It is so nice to have your many visits to look forward to, to lift my spirits and change my attitude for the day. Instead of falling deeper into the doldrums  I am able to pull myself up and see the positivity around me.  Truly, connecting with you, helps me a great deal.  I love to talk to you about so many things, my health yes, but also the many great memories we share together in teaching, administration, and life here in Newmarket.

This week has been quite manageable for me health wise.  The routines are now setting in and we are feeling a better flow of the day. I have nursing visits twice a day, the pain pump is working well, and I seem to be tolerating the IV fluids and the steroids.  Although there are still ups and downs, being at home will always be better than being in the hospital.  My hope is that we will continue on this positive trend and I will be able to do a few more things.  Believe it or not, I am looking forward to running errands and getting out of the house for a change in scenery.  If things continue to stabilize, something I am really looking forward to is going to Kingston to visit some long time friends and family.  I know this might be a long shot, but we are talking about how we can make this happen.

In the meantime, we are taking it one day at a time and facing the obstacles as they come and hoping for many more days. 

I haven't felt much like listening to music up until now, but have recently been listening to some old Beatles tunes.  This one by the George Harrison keeps running around in my head and really seems to resonate with me:

"Here comes the sun do, do, do, do

Here comes the sun,  

And I say - it's all right" - The Beatles/George Harrison

Sometimes you just have to gather your own sunshine!

Thank you for reading and participating in my journey,

Back to you Michelle! Next week it's your turn.

Richard

Targeting Pain Relief

This week's blog is co-written by Michelle and Richard. 

It's been a longer week than normal for me.  I've spent most of the time sleeping in my bed upstairs and struggling to manage my various pains - in my back, in my neck, all over really.  Once it starts to gain hold, it's really hard to get back on top of it.  We have tried different drugs and treatments, and finally we think we have a solution in place to solve the pain issue.  One thing about pain meds is that they also make you sleepy, and also create other side effects and problems as outlined in my previous blog post, Pain in the @#$% !

This week has also saw progress in other ways - I now have a hospital bed on the main floor to make things a little easier for me, as well as a shower bench, a walker and a wheelchair (just in case I will need it).  I have a nurse coming in daily and she provides much needed care for me and support for Michelle.  She has been with me during these days of sorting out my pain and other symptoms and so it is very helpful to have this continuity of care.

In addition, my care has been streamlined.  My pain meds are now managed with a pain pump and my meds are cut down to just the essential things to give me comfort and care.  This has been very helpful as I've had a bit of nausea, so now we are by-passing that and the drugs get right where they need to be and when.  This takes a big burden off of us as we had a large number of pills and different timing to take them, so this is all much easier now.  Less running up and down the stairs for Michelle.  We also have our Dr. come to our home as well as other essential services, again making things easier and able to stay Home Sweet Home.

Though things have declined for me this week healthwise, there continues to be hope as other things get more manageable - such as my pain.  I had to cancel a number of visits this week with family and friends which was very hard for me to do.  Hopefully we can get these re booked over the coming weeks.

I'd also like to thank all of you who are dropping off goodies for our family - I've had a number of butter tart deliveries - how did you all know they are my favourite!   We really appreciate all of your efforts - life is so busy for all and that you took this time to bring us some sweetness is overwhelming.  

Sugar seems to give pain relief too!  As Mary Poppins would say " just a spoonful of sugar, helps the medicine go down" and it really does!

Richard & Michelle