And so it begins again.......

Well that was fast! After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, I got accepted and have now started on a cancer clinical trial this past week. This new trial has produced many emotions that range from both ends of the spectrum:  hopefulness and trepidation. I have a lot of questions such as: "What have I agreed to?" "Will this be safe?" "Will this have a positive, negative or no impact in slowing down the growth of my cancer tumours?" With limited options comes more risky choices and decisions to make. "Will it be worth the risk?".  As Michelle had mentioned in last week's post, we enter into this with hope.

I must say that I have never visited a hospital so often and in such a short period of time in my entire life!  Last week I achieved a new personal record, five days in a row. To be honest,  I must admit that I have spent the better part of my life trying to avoid hospitals as much as possible. Hospitals have always kind of scared me. This is probably due to the fact that except for the birth of my three children, going or rushing to the hospital has usually meant that someone in my family was hurt or was dealing with a significant medical issue. Hospitals to me, signified concern, worry and fear. That really hasn't changed much for me now that I am a frequent "flyer" in hospitals, but I can now add hope, gratefulness and a sense of awe to this list. I am so very thankful and fortunate that this opportunity has presented itself to me. I am also so grateful for the hospital staff, who have been very compassionate and caring. I am in awe of the wonderful facilities, equipment and level of care that have been offered to me thus far. Simply amazing!

I have said this before but I must say it again, I really had no idea or realization of the vast numbers of people that are dealing with cancer. I am constantly shocked at the numbers.  I can literally see with my own eyes the impact that cancer has on so many others, not just myself. One quick example to share that highlights what I mean.  There is a large, beautiful waiting area  centrally located for patients to wait for their turn to draw blood. The startling part for me is the fact that this waiting area is so full and busy that they need to use the 'deli counter' number system to keep things running smoothly. You check in at the reception desk and wait to see your number come up on the big screen and then proceed to one of over a dozen blood technicians working simultaneously. Yes you read that right, a steady flow of patients getting blood work done from 7 a.m. until around 4 p.m. Surprising and scary at the same time! When you have cancer you sometimes feel alone, that this is only happening to you. This is obviously not the case. So many are impacted by cancer. And that's just the patients, with COVID 19 restrictions, family are unable to come into the hospital, so cancer is impacting so many more.

My new line of treatment takes an hour or so to administer but the monitoring process afterwards lasts a full twenty-four hour period and is preceded and followed up with numerous blood draws and checking of vitals to monitor my condition, hence my many visits to the blood labs and to the hospital. At the moment, I don't seem to have any severe side effects, just a few small things that thus far, all seem manageable. I hope it stays that way.  Is it working? Only time will tell, which will mean more tests and biopsies and the good old CT Scan.  All familiar testing ground for me now!

If you risk nothing, then you risk everything. ~ Geena Davis

Richard