Celebrating Fathers

Sunday is Father's Day. My children ask me every year, what I would like for a Father's Day gift. My usual response is "nothing" because I really have everything that I need or want. But this year is a little bit different, because what I really want is more time! I want more time to see them continue to mature into adulthood and beyond. I would like to be there to see them find a life partner, to hopefully have children of their own, and build on their career paths. They each have so much potential and unique talents. I know that they have exciting futures ahead of them. I really want to be apart of these milestone moments. I hope that cancer doesn't take all of them away from me and I can share in some still to come.

From the moment each of them came into Michelle and my lives, they changed our outlook and focus in life forever. As parents and as a father, you learn as you go. I am sure that we/I have made our fair share of mistakes along the way but based on the wonderful young adults that they have become, we couldn't have done that bad of a job raising them. We always tease Jonathan, that he taught us everything we needed to know about being a parent, and Josh and Sophie reaped the benefits! I hope that the many wonderful childhood memories that I hold dear in my heart are memories that they too will never forget. 

I have been so fortunate to be with all three of them for the entire summer each year. This is one of the blessings of having a career in teaching. This has meant that I have been able to be 'present' for them on weekends, holidays and all summer long. This is a special gift of time that I have been given. I can remember packing them all up in the wagon and making our way to the park each day. I can remember spreading the garden hose out on the lawn so that they could run through it on a hot day. Listening to them laugh and giggle and try to spray each other with the hose. Taking trips to the public library and signing out books for summer reading. Visiting the local wading pools to cool down prior to getting our own pool. Stopping for ice cream or a small box of Timbits during our travels. Going on day camp trips to various parks, zoos and outings. Watching them jump on the trampoline trying to do flips, playing a fierce game of badminton or croquet in the backyard. Licking popsicles on a humid day, watching them learn to do dives and grading their hand stands in the pool competitions, roasting marshmallows by the fire, making homemade pizzas on the bbq and sitting by the poolside fire at the end of a great day of swimming. "Dad, dad, dad - watch me!" And who can forget Soccerfest which always seem to land on Father's Day each year. These are just a few of our wonderful summer memories.

I can honestly say that being a father has been my greatest achievement in life. I am so fortunate to have three exceptional children (proud dad moment here). I am so very proud of the amazing adults they have become. Each of them have strong morals, determination and a kind heart. They have so much potential. Having the privilege to parent alongside Michelle, (who is an outstanding, dedicated mother) has been incredible. I could not have asked for a better life partner. We are not expert parents by any means, but we continue to dedicate our lives to guiding them and providing them with opportunities to succeed in life. We have really put a focus on them throughout our lives. We would not want it any other way.

I want to wish all fathers and father figures out there a Happy Father's Day. Well Done! 

"Of all the titles that I have been privileged to have, "Dad" has always been the best." ~ Ken Norton

Love you always Jon, Josh and Sophie!

Dad XOXO

SCAN-xiety 2.0- Unwelcome News

Previously, in my blogpost entitled SCAN-xiety, I talked about the rollercoaster ride cancer patients and their families go through regarding tests and scans. In that post I described the intense emotions that each test cycle creates for me personally and for my family. It all starts with the worry and wonder leading up to the test. Followed by the anxiousness on the day of the test and finally the concern and the dread of the possible results or outcomes from the test. I must say that waiting for the test results is definitely the most challenging part. Hence the term, SCAN-xiety. 

Last week, I had my regularly scheduled CT scan (which I have booked approximately every three months to keep us and my medical team up to date on the progress of my treatment). It was, like previous scans, fairly routine except perhaps for the new hospital protocols that are in place due to the ongoing COVID-19 issues.  The CT scan itself takes about 15 minutes. The machine pushes you into a cylinder tube that is rotating. It tells you to hold your breath for five seconds (it seems longer than that).  The platform then moves you slowly out of the tube (while you are holding your breath). This happens a few times. Fairly painless overall, except for a few slightly claustrophobic panic moments in the CT scan tube perhaps.  And then you wait! Waiting is painful, not literally but emotionally. 

Usually you wait until your next scheduled appointment with your oncologist to get the scan results however a few days after my scan I received a call from the hospital to indicate that my oncologist wanted to book a phone consult with me.  This was a week earlier than anticipated to discuss the results, which is not usually a good sign. Our family's anxiety levels immediately starting rising after getting off the phone. 

Unfortunately my early phone call was not good news. My most recent CT scan results had shown that my first line of treatment, which had been successful up until this point, was no longer controlling the spread or stopping the growth of my disease. My oncologist indicated that it was time to move onto the second line of treatment options. 

With our medical team, we are now in the process of determining our next steps, which will definitely include a new round of chemotherapy, a new cocktail of chemo drugs to fight this disease.

However disappointing and discouraging this news is for me and my family, we fight on! It is very hard to reconcile this news, with outward appearances and how I feel overall.  My energy level is good, my appetite is good, my outlook is hopeful and I continue to do most all of the things I normally would be doing.  We stay positive and we hope and pray for better news to come. 

We will not give up!  

"Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional" ~ Roger Crawford

Richard

Celebrations & Milestones

Throughout the year we all celebrate milestone events like birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, retirements and graduations. These moments in time give us a chance to celebrate, recognize and highlight a happy or important event in ours or someone else's life. We all need these special moments. They provide us with joy, bring family and friends together and give us positive memories to cherish and remember for a lifetime. This week alone, Michelle and I will be celebrating our 32nd wedding anniversary and my 56th birthday. This year, many of us are feeling a little less celebratory, like we are missing out on a 'full' celebration due to the current restrictions and limitations. I say keep on celebrating!  

Last June was such a busy month for us so we decided not to formally celebrate our wedding anniversary. I was retiring (and we had lots of events & parties to attend), Michelle's mom's health was not well, and we had many other things happening so we decided to not go out for dinner or plan anything special like we normally do for our anniversary and instead we planned to combine it with our retirement trip. Unfortunately my health got in the way and we had to cancel our retirement/anniversary travel plans.  As a result, we do regret not taking the time to go out for that wonderful, romantic dinner for two or plan a special getaway weekend. We have had so many wonderful adventures, special dinners and moments during past anniversaries. This year, we are not able to go out for dinner or book a special getaway due to COVID-19. Instead we had our own romantic dinner for two on our deck (with the occasional visit throughout the evening from each of our three children). A beautiful evening was had, and actually it was much better than a table for two at a crowded restaurant. The lesson learned here is to make memories and moments wherever you are or whatever the circumstances. 

October is birthday month at the Erdmann household!  We have three birthdays in quick succession during the month. First off is Sophie, followed by Joshua and finally it is Michelle's birthday by mid October. We often say that it is our birthday cake month. After cake number two we sometimes say, do we really need another birthday cake? The answer is always Yes! Yes we do!  

"A good life is a collection of happy moments." ~ Denis Waitley

If you are lucky enough to have children, you will be celebrating many milestones for sure. I truly miss those baby and early years when the milestone events seemed to happen almost on a daily basis. First laugh, first words, first steps, first day of school, losing that first tooth and many more.

Jonathan, Joshua and Sophie are the pride and joys of our life. Michelle and I are immensely proud of each of them in their own unique ways. Through triumphs and pitfalls, through good times and bad, through the ups and downs of daily life we continue to be amazed at their resilience and positive outlooks on life. We hope this never changes.  We can honestly say that they have grown to be thoughtful, caring and responsible young adults. Michelle and I have always focused on family first, sometimes missing out on a personal goal or achievement to support our children. We have no regrets. It was well worth it. Each of them has provided us with the stories of our lives. We love them dearly. 

All of my fondest memories have involved my family and friends. They bring true meaning to life. When family & friends get together to eat, drink, talk (and even sometimes dance) it brings a smile to my face. Family reunions at the cottage, pot luck dinners, pool parties, family bbqs, boat rides in the bay, breakfasts at the local diner with your friends, these are the moments to hold dear. 

We all recognize milestones or significant events for a reason. They bring joy and happiness, they provide us with lasting memories. They bind us together. Despite our current situation that we all find ourselves in, don't pass on the opportunity to make new special moments with your family & friends (when we are allowed to) durning these challenging times. You never know when you will lose your chance to do so.

"Life should not only be lived, it should be celebrated". ~ Osho

Celebrate! 

Richard

Remember When.......

This week's blog comes courtesy of My Michelle. 

This coming week, Richard and I will be celebrating 32 years of marriage.  You know how people always say, "where did the time go", "it seems like it was just yesterday", or "you haven't changed at all".  Well a few weeks back, Richard and Jonathan rigged up our old VCR and we watched our wedding video from 1988.  Well, it was definitely 32 years ago and  we definitely have changed!  But, it was really so much fun to talk to the kids about the "back story" and relive the memories of that day.  

There is something so magical in memories and telling stories of times gone by to your kids.  Its an enduring thing in families I think.  I know my brothers and sisters and I loved to hear my mom's version of how she and my dad had met back in the 50's, how they had met at a barn dance, how he had asked her to dance and she turned him down!  Dad would tease her and tell another version of the story, and well, long story short and after much eye rolling, thank goodness dad persevered and the rest, as they say, is history!  We were digging through some old documents the other day that Richard's mom had saved and came across some love letters from his dad to his mom that she had lovingly saved.  So happy we have these memories to share and pass on to our children, the stories of our lives.

One of the great things about our wedding video is how it captured the music, the dancing, all the fun that we remembered during our reception. Seeing all the disco dance moves, watching that crazy conga line, all of the bridesmaids in their beautiful blue dresses swirling about the dance floor.  Pure Magic!  Re-living the beautiful speeches, words of advice and wishes from our loved ones.  Then there we were: so young, so optimistic, the world at our feet.  Richard had graduated from teaching at Queen's the day before, and I had just completed my third year. We were in such a hurry to get started and share our lives together.

I guess it is only natural heading into this anniversary to be particularly thoughtful and remembering days gone by.  We have a shadow hanging over us all for sure, as we battle through these days.  For us it is a battle for time and preserving Richard's health.  We have scans, tests and treatments that create a great deal of anxiety for all of our family. It is as much an emotional and mental battle as it is a physical one.  What helps?  As you surely know by now, we love music and dancing.  One of our favourite songs is an oldie by Alan Jackson called "Remember When", a tear jerker for sure.  It is truly a song suited to anniversaries and about a love and life well shared.  

If I could, I'd still do it all again!  

Put on the music Richard, meet me in the kitchen and let the dancing continue!

And we'll remember when.

Love Michelle

Anticipating a perfect summer day!

We are so happy that the weather has finally improved and we can all get outside and enjoy some sun in the backyard. It has been a long few weeks being cooped up in the house. Cabin fever was beginning to set in for sure for us.

Michelle and I love to garden. It gives us great satisfaction to clear away the dead debris from our gardens and around our pool to see the perennials and hosta plants trying to peek out towards the sun. We swear that they grow a few centimetres by the end of that first day of cleaning. We love to go to the nursery and pick out our vegetable patch plants and our beautiful hanging baskets the colours and aromas in the nursery are a sure sign of Spring. Luckily the nurseries have been allowed to open this week so we can get to visit them.

We take great pride in our backyard oasis. It takes several days to get it back into shape after the winter. We are amazed at how quickly the weeds can grow (faster then the perennials for sure) in the gardens and in between the interlocking stones.  This week we bought four yards of mulch and have been topping up the beds with it. Amazing what a light topping of rich, black mulch can do to control the weeds and make it look so good. I am thankful that I am still able to fully work in the garden and am really surprised that my stamina remains (although I must admit that I can't go at the pace that I once did). No full out energizer bunny mode however. Slow and steady wins the race, right?

Another sure sign of spring is our annual pool opening. We opened our pool late last year and regretted it, as the warm weather came early and we missed out on a few good weeks in & by the pool. This year we decided to open the pool early. That was a mistake. We have had several days of snow (yes snow) and rain since it has opened. We decided not to turn on the heater. You can't win! We hope to finally turn on the heater this weekend and begin to fully enjoy our pool. Lounging by the pool is so relaxing. It is one of our favourite things to do in our backyard.

Our BBQ has already been busy grilling a variety of menu items. We are currently in the middle of an Erdmann family rib fest contest. Jonathan, Joshua and Michelle have all had a turn so far making their own dry rub and bbq rib sauces. It has been a close and delicious contest for sure. I'm not sure I can top those rib sauces but I will give it a try later this month. We haven't had our pizza oven on the bbq yet but maybe we will be able to get it going this weekend. We are also excited for our first bonfire of the season. Nothing is better then sitting around a crackling fire, roasting marshmallows and watching the glowing flames dance in the moon light. 

Finally it is almost badminton season. We can't wait! The Erdmann's love badminton and we take it very seriously. Our net broke last year so we are a bit delayed in the start of the season. If you happen to get a glimpse of us playing you will most likely witness a gentle game of 'how many volleys can we get over the net' quickly turn into a spike drive battle where the birdie usually ends up torpedoed into someone's body. Don't be fooled, we are fierce badminton players. Watch out! 

I am hopeful that I will still be able to participate fully in these wonderful family outdoor activities this summer. At the moment it looks very promising. My health has been good and I am able to fully participate in all of them at this time. I hope it stays that way! These activities allow us all the time to take our mind off of our current circumstances. They are a wonderful distraction for sure. They bring us joy and bring our family together. More great memories.

Sunshine is the best medicine!

I hope that you are enjoying your backyards and families too. Make new memories and treasure those moments you make together.

Richard

Is this our new Normal?

Earlier in the week, on our trip to our local grocery store Michelle and I ran into a former colleague and friend of mine who has recently moved away. We were surprised to see her back in Newmarket.  Her first instinct was to come over and give Michelle a big hug but she quickly stopped herself after remembering the social distancing rules. She smiled and offered a warm greeting instead. It was a bit of an awkward moments for all three of us. If things were 'normal' or as they used to be, a big hug would have surely been given and appropriate under the circumstances. We all seem to be missing the human contact of others at this time.  Is this our new normal?

On our daily walks through the nature trails of Newmarket, whenever we come across others walking on the path, we quickly go into single file formation, like we are in the military. Michelle says that I go into formation way too early! Most times, the other people on the path do the same for us, but not always! We sometimes end up off the path and on the grass to be sure to keep a safe distance away from others. Is this our new normal?

Ordering items online before Christmas this year was a new novelty for Michelle and I as we had never done online shopping to any great scale before. We were amazed to find all the items that we were looking for and having them delivered straight to our home. We were definitely impressed at the time as it was quick, convenient and saved us time. 

Lately, online shopping has been our only option for us for most of our purchases. We have even tried curb side pickup. I must say that this is definitely not our preferred method of shopping. The time spent scrolling through the items online (trying to find the specific brand we are looking for) and the wait time (sometimes a few days) for the item to be ready for pick up as well as the wait time in your car for the item to be brought to your car has proven to be a bit frustrating. Is this our new normal?

We have even tried online grocery shopping for a few weeks. The novelty has definitely worn off for this as well! We miss grocery shopping in person. Often the items we have tried to purchase have not been available online or are out of stock. It is also not very convenient to order groceries several days in advance as often we run out of them early and have to make a quick trip to the grocery store anyway. This will not be our new normal!

Our three kids are pro's at ordering Uber Eats. We are trying to support local restaurants at least once a week during this time of staying at home (we are also tired of cooking dinners too so this gives us a making dinner break too). We downloaded the UberEats app and ordered food. To our disappointment the order arrived with items missing and with the added fees, the price of the meal was too high in my opinion. I guess I'm just old fashioned and cheap! I would much rather just pick up my take out food. This will not be our new normal (at least for Michelle and I, our kids are another story. They love to order online) !

As our government announces that our economy is beginning to reopen and our day to day lives 'may' begin to return to some form of 'normal' again, I can tell you that I am actually still quite scared. I am scared of getting Covid-19. Although my doctors have indicated that my immune system is not compromised at the moment, I still worry about contracting the virus in my current condition. I do feel that I have several of the risk factors for sure. We have been staying home for the most part, washing our hands regularly and following expected guidelines. Better safe than sorry.

We will all need to remain vigilant and continue to be cautious. I know for sure that I will still be following the guidelines closely even after restrictions have been lifted. 

I guess this will be my new normal!

Stay well, stay safe.

Richard

Unsinkable! #Unsinkable

A big thank you to Unsinkable for sharing my story and my personal cancer blog!  You can find my article under the Neighbourhood Heroes section. The article is called Fighting Cancer with Positivity. Check it out if you get a chance.  

Thanks to all for following my journey!

Richard

Honouring Mothers

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I would like to use this week's blog post to pay tribute to all of the mothers out there with special mention to the three mothers below.

My own mother, Doreen has been gone now for 20 years (wow I can't believe that), but Michelle and I still think about her often. Around our house there are many mementoes and items that were once hers, from her best china set to little keepsake items and nicknacks. When I think of my mom, it brings a smile to my face. My mother could best be described as an opinionated woman. You definitely knew where you stood with her, and she would tell you. She was a very caring person towards others. She would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. Her quick wit and her generosity are some of her lasting legacies. One of my regrets is that our three children did not get the chance to really get to know her more. She died a few months before Sophia was born. One thing I am sure of is that she would have spoiled them all rotten. Miss you so much mom!

My wife Michelle is a extremely devoted mother to our three children Jonathan, Joshua and Sophia. I must say that I could not have asked for a better person to fill these shoes. She is such a wonderful mother to them all. Michelle is simply amazing!  Michelle sacrifices her own needs and wants for her children. She is their number one advocate, supporter and champion. Don't mess with her kids! Michelle is the glue that binds our family together. She is the one that helps to calm nerves, mend fences and helps us to realize when we need to be sure to see another's perspective. I love you Michelle with all my heart. You are an amazing wife and mother.

My mother in law, Norma is another amazing mother. Over the years she has raised six children, supported thirteen grandchildren and 8 great grandchildren. I have always been impressed with her steadfast devotion for all of her children. Michelle has had a wonderful model to learn from, in her own mom. Norma is currently in long term care, in a nursing home and we are not able to visit her during this pandemic. We miss her dearly and can't wait for this to be over so we can visit her again. We miss you Norma!

A word of advice to all reading this blog, cherish your time with your mothers because you will truly miss them when they are gone. 

To all of the mothers out there, I salute you. I hope that you have a wonderful day tomorrow! 

Happy Mother's Day!

Richard

This Morning, With You, Having Coffee

This week's blog comes courtesy of My Michelle.

I love coffee!  

That promise of the perfect cup of dark roast delight, is one of the things I look forward to every morning.  I come by this love of strong coffee quite honestly.  We always used to joke that my father made coffee so strong the spoon would practically stand up in it!  Richard's family too were big coffee drinkers, and I remember when we were newlyweds and would be home in Kingston visiting from our jobs in Toronto, and Richard's mom Doreen would come over to visit and bring donuts, calling out "Ronnie put the coffee on".  He surely would, and we would have much fun, laughter, talking and getting caught up over a pot or two.  We were so lucky that both our families got along so well.

When our children were young, and life was very busy, I looked forward to precious Sunday mornings when the kids slept in a little longer (with any luck), Richard slept in, and I was able to slip outside with my steaming cup of coffee, Darcy laying by my feet. I would just sit by the pool and watch the morning unfold and I would take the time to think, to plan and to dream.

Despite all that we are going through these days, Richard and I always take time together in the morning, and enjoy our coffee.  It is our special time to gradually wake up with the day, to share moments in quiet conversation while the rest of the household and the world still sleeps.

This morning, with you, having coffee - the best part of my day.

Love Michelle

Today's forecast: 100% Chance of Waiting!

Waiting. It seems that we are all doing a great deal of it these days. One thing that I am sure of is that I have been doing my fair share of waiting lately.  Our lives seem to be on freeze frame as we wait for the go ahead to return to the life as we once knew it. At the moment there is not much else we can do but wait, patiently wait. 

Patience is a virtue, so they say. I'm not sure that I have this virtue in my personal toolkit. For those of you that know me, I'm not what you would call a patient person. I have been described by some as 'the energizer bunny'. I am a bit of a hyperactive person (maybe more than a bit). I am a man of action. I like to get things done. Waiting is really not something that is in my DNA. These times are especially difficult for me personally because I have no choice but to wait.

I feel like I am in the Ground Hog Day movie. Each day seems to be the same as the last. There really is not much to do (or at least things you would like to do).  My pace of life has substantially slowed down recently. This has been due to a number of factors including my recent retirement, our current state of affairs with physical distancing and my cancer diagnosis. 

A cancer diagnosis quickly consumes your life and forces you to postpone, re-think and in some cases cancel your plans. Your life is suddenly on hold. Waiting is painful for me. Over the past six months I have been doing a lot of waiting. Most of this waiting has not been by choice. Waiting for test diagnosis, waiting for results, waiting for updates on progress and waiting for what is next on my cancer journey. Patiently waiting for the go ahead and opening up of the economy and opportunity for travel, so that my family and I can fulfil some of our dreams and wishes.  Still we wait.

On the brighter side, waiting gives me time to think. Time to reflect and time to reminisce. 

Recently I have been thinking a lot about some of my friends and colleagues who are also going through their own cancer journeys. They too are waiting. One is waiting for surgery to remove her cancer which has been recently postponed and the other (who has just been released from the hospital) is waiting to find out why they continue to struggle with stubborn symptoms that don't seem to want to go away. Waiting is hard for all of us.

At this time, there is not much else we can do, but wait.  We are all waiting for things to get back to normal. Will things every get back to normal again? 

I guess we will just have to WAIT and see!

Richard

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!

Throughout my educational career I have always tried to highlight and champion the ideas around growth mindset, perseverance and grit. I truly believe that a sincere focus on these traits can help to support goal achievement and overall success in life. I have had many opportunities to witness first hand examples where this has been the case. More recently I have witnessed one of the best examples of the power of perseverance, grit and determination right here at home, through our daughter Sophie.  

To me, Sophia exemplifies the qualities of perseverance, grit and determination. She has definitely inherited some of this from her mother and I, but she has taken it to a whole new level!  Daily we witness her efforts to set goals, organize, prioritize and execute on her plans. Sophie sets high standards for herself and plans out exactly how she is going to achieve and maintain these goals, and utilizes bullet journalling extensively to stay on track. I am truly impressed with the time Sophie spends detailing her daily, weekly and monthly goals and objectives through her bullet journal.  

Recently Sophie started up a small, online business called Opal and Fern Designs (sorry proud father moment here!) which features artisan bullet journalling stickers and other items that she herself crafted and uses in her own daily journalling. To me this has been a perfect pairing of her talents! She is using her artistic ability and her focus on goal setting to her advantage.  I believe that her business serves multiple purposes. First it provides an outlet for her creativity. Sophie has always been doodling, drawing and creating art from an early age. She loves the Arts, hence taking Art History as one of her majors in university. Secondly, it provides a small income for her. She has been saving up money to attend a university class in Venice, Italy. (currently postponed until next year due to recent flooding and COVID-19). Finally, I personally feel that starting up and maintaining her online sticker shop has offered her a distraction from our current family situation. Sophie has always been a quiet, shy person who avoids conflict and uncertainty. Her intense focus on her university studies and her sticker company allows her a way to express herself artistically, a way to get out of being stuck in neutral, and an escape from our current family reality.

I am so impressed with Sophie's ability to maintain focus, to persevere, to strive to achieve her goals and dreams despite all of the obstacles and barriers that have recently plagued our family. Regardless of our current circumstances, she continues to be laser focused on her university studies. She has a clear plan for her future and is working hard to achieve her goals. Starting up a small online business while maintaining a high calibre university level is an amazing achievement. We are all so impressed and proud of her.  She is our superstar!  We all get very involved in her success and her business, so excited when we see a sale come through on her ETSY shop, fascinated to see the global reach of her business, and all have tips and input - some she has welcomed, others not so much lol!

I continue to worry about her and the rest of my family as the effects of my cancer diagnosis and prognosis continue to take a toll on all of us, not physically but mentally and emotionally. It has been difficult for all of us. Each family member is trying to deal with it the best that they can in their own unique ways. Sophie seems to have found a way to cope with it through the Arts (her passion). She has even got our whole family painting on canvases in our kitchen during this time of isolation to keep us busy and help distract us. 

Like Sophie, I too try to find ways to distract myself and continue to try to maintain positive momentum. My personal determination to stay strong and persevere while dealing with my cancer journey is what I believe has kept me going all this time. Despite the many setbacks and obstacles that have come my way over the past six months I try to push through them and keep going. 

As both Michelle, and Dory from Finding Nemo keep saying,  "Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming"! 

Richard

Home Movies - Treasuring the Moments

Like all of you, we are trying to find ways to fill our days now that we are basically sequestered at home for the foreseeable future. As I had previously mentioned in my post Spring Cleaning- Got Junk! , I have been slowly cleaning our basement, which has 20+ years of boxes and discarded items to go through. It has been an overwhelming, tedious task for sure, sorting and sifting through the boxes, bins and collections of stored items. A lifetime of memories are stored down there. It has resulted in some exciting discoveries. 

A few days ago, our son Jonathan came down to the basement to check on me as I have been trying to go downstairs for an hour our two each day to keep the cleaning momentum going (after taking a few weeks off). It has given me a purpose or job to do each day during these long days at home. Jon quickly noticed that I had uncovered one of my old video recorders, along with a box of video cassette tapes and even a collection of old film reels from my childhood. Jon, being a film affcionado and a lover of all things to do with movies and technology, immediately brought these items upstairs and was trying to figure out how to get them operational again. In no time, he had the video camera charging, figured out how to link it up to the flat screen and we were ready to go.

We decided to have a viewing party that night. Having not taken the time to label the video cassettes when I should have years ago, each cassette was a mystery tape. Child birth, birthday parties, christenings, family BBQ's, even surprise videos that my parents had taken on their trips and vacations that I have never seen before. What a discovery.

Our now adult children were mesmerized at seeing themselves as babies and during their toddler years. What a treasure it was to be able to show them what they were like back then. Michelle and I had almost forgotten their baby voices, their actions and reactions. It was great to see and hear them at this age again. Our kids couldn't get over how young Michelle and I looked- mind you, we think we hadn't changed at all (lol). In some of the videos, we were close to the same age as Jon is today. 

These videos took us back in time, so sad but also wonderful to see family that have now passed on, to re-live family celebrations, moments that were captured on video that might have been forgotten forever. It was wonderful to hear our children's voices, how they they giggled and spoke as young children and to hear the voices of those family members that had passed on or changed due to health. The videos also showed the little nuances and activities going on in the background.  Photographs could never capture those for us to remember. In this age of instant Snapchat photos and fifteen second phone video clips - home movies are a dying art!

I have to admit that I got very emotional watching these videos. Many of these videos had me choked up and almost in tears and Michelle had to leave the room. Not only because of the emotions of the memories that can flooding back to me while watching them but also because I began to think about the events and moments that I would not be a part of in the future. Cancer will eventually rob me of my chance to be apart of making memories with my family. I resent this. I have to admit that it makes me angry at times and melancholy too.

We are slowly working through the video cassette tapes, labelling them and hoping to hold video viewing parties every now and then. Next on the list is our wedding video and then going way back to the 8 mm movie reels so that our kids can see what life was like when dad was a baby. Luckily I also found the projector so that we can watch them too. Fingers crossed it still works.

I encourage you to dig up your old albums and home movies, spend some time looking through them. Set up a viewing party of your own. You will never regret the time you spend, the conversations that they ignite, the laughter and tears, the memories that come back to life before your eyes.  

Keep making memories, capturing & treasuring the moments.

Richard

The Power of Walking

This week’s blog comes courtesy of My Michelle.

“I’m walking, yes indeed and I’m talking, about you and me!” (Fats Domino)

Richard and I love to exercise and go to the gym, and while his current cancer battle, the restrictions due to COVID 19 and the important need for physical distancing has limited us somewhat, one thing we can definitely do is get outside and WALK!  And walk we do - often averaging 13-15,000 steps at a time. We are so fortunate to live here in Newmarket, where so much attention and planning has gone into creating and preserving greenspace and the provision of extensive walking trails. We walk on the path near our house and have a favourite loop we have mapped out, but we also venture out to the paths around Fairy Lake, the Tom Taylor Trail, as well as along the Nokiidaa Trail.  Appropriately, the word Nokiidaa comes from the Ojibwa and means “Walking Together”.  

On our treks we often run into many old friends and acquaintances, especially folks who know Richard from his 30 plus years in education - peers, families, former students. I actually do not think that I can think of one walk where we didn’t get a “Hi Richard! How are you!”. What’s also great about our walks, is that for the most part, I have Richard all to myself.  To hold hands, to link arms, to encourage him up the hills, to stop and take photos of a point of interest or two, and best of all, to talk. The conversations are different now, more focused on the here and now, logistics of appointments or treatments, things that need to get done, but always with a base of an unspoken appreciation of each other & treasuring our time.  

Lately our son Joshua has been joining us, and this takes the conversation to another place as he is always very concerned for Richard and how he is feeling, likes to see his dad active and walking, encouraging him to work through aches and pains, to keep moving.  Sometimes with physical distancing, I drop behind the two of them as we walk past others, and I love those moments actually, as I see them walk side by side, and I can see how similar they are, same walk, same posture, same stature. There is so much of Richard in each of our children, and I take comfort in that.  

The benefits of walking to your physical and emotional health and management of stress are undeniable. I find at times I am also able to work through issues and problems while I am walking, gaining clarity of thought.  Throw in some sunshine, the promise of some warmer

weather, your loved ones, and well it’s a win-win all around.

It's not where you walk, it's who walks with you.

So join us, lace up your runners, keep calm and walk on.

Love Michelle